Saturday Morning Caffiene Fueled Rant Without the Coffee
Watching “American Idol” judges humiliate those poor, misguided but generally sweet contestants made me realize, especially with Simon Cowell, that the only qualification somebody needs to be a nasty critic, and probably the only qualification they have, is a birth certificate.
If I may, I would like to quote the great Triumph the Insult Comic Dog from “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” when he met “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell;
“You tell people they have no talent? That’s like vomit telling poop that it stinks.”
Memo to "A.I." Judges: Would it have killed you to just take that poor girl's "Wizard of Oz" sign?
Lex's pix
So, Lexter Dexter, you ask, who do you, you Fantasy Football money-making-maven, who do you, with all your vast football expertise, think will win this weekend?
Well, first of all, if you ever call me Lexter Dexter again, I am coming through this screen to ho slap you.
Secondly, I want to see Peyton Manning beat the cocky we-are-as-sick-of-your-boring-winning-ass-as-we-were-of-the-Forty-Niners-back-when-they-didn’t-suck New England Patriots. But my Peyton cheering is qualified. He is a big crybaby. It is so annoying how he angrily gestures at his recievers for not catching his ball as if their poor route is always the cause of any incompletion. And remember how last year he threw his entire o-line under the buss to the press after his last in a long line of playoff losses?
They showed an old family film of Peyton playing football with his brothers around age 5 and sure enough, he whined, cried and screamed at his older brother Cooper for tackling him the wrong way. Ah ha, I thought. That explains a lot.
That doesn’t mean it is going to happen, I just want it to happen. Those Patriots are bloodless drones.
Needless to say I am for my hometown Bears but Rex scares the Grossman out of me. And all that New Orleans Saints sentimental Katrina crap got old before it got old. The Saints have about as much to do with the rebuilding of New Orleans as talent and charm has to do with the Rosie and Trump bitch fest. That annoying Saints owner was packed and ready to bolt Nawhlens before Katrina.
And I got fifty bucks on Dah Bearsssssssss. So there it is. It’s the Dahs versus the Dats. Dah Bearsssss versus “Who Dat Think They Gonna Beat Them Saints”?
A word on the line
The Chicago Bears are 2 ½ favorites over the New Orleans Saints. It is important to remember that the line is not what football experts think a team will win by. The line is where the betting will even out at 50-50. So the gamblers determine the line. So when you have such an overwhelming sentimental favorite, as we have with the Saints, that line can be way off.
Give the 2 ½
Watching “American Idol” judges humiliate those poor, misguided but generally sweet contestants made me realize, especially with Simon Cowell, that the only qualification somebody needs to be a nasty critic, and probably the only qualification they have, is a birth certificate.
If I may, I would like to quote the great Triumph the Insult Comic Dog from “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” when he met “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell;
“You tell people they have no talent? That’s like vomit telling poop that it stinks.”
Memo to "A.I." Judges: Would it have killed you to just take that poor girl's "Wizard of Oz" sign?
Lex's pix
So, Lexter Dexter, you ask, who do you, you Fantasy Football money-making-maven, who do you, with all your vast football expertise, think will win this weekend?
Well, first of all, if you ever call me Lexter Dexter again, I am coming through this screen to ho slap you.
Secondly, I want to see Peyton Manning beat the cocky we-are-as-sick-of-your-boring-winning-ass-as-we-were-of-the-Forty-Niners-back-when-they-didn’t-suck New England Patriots. But my Peyton cheering is qualified. He is a big crybaby. It is so annoying how he angrily gestures at his recievers for not catching his ball as if their poor route is always the cause of any incompletion. And remember how last year he threw his entire o-line under the buss to the press after his last in a long line of playoff losses?
They showed an old family film of Peyton playing football with his brothers around age 5 and sure enough, he whined, cried and screamed at his older brother Cooper for tackling him the wrong way. Ah ha, I thought. That explains a lot.
That doesn’t mean it is going to happen, I just want it to happen. Those Patriots are bloodless drones.
Needless to say I am for my hometown Bears but Rex scares the Grossman out of me. And all that New Orleans Saints sentimental Katrina crap got old before it got old. The Saints have about as much to do with the rebuilding of New Orleans as talent and charm has to do with the Rosie and Trump bitch fest. That annoying Saints owner was packed and ready to bolt Nawhlens before Katrina.
And I got fifty bucks on Dah Bearsssssssss. So there it is. It’s the Dahs versus the Dats. Dah Bearsssss versus “Who Dat Think They Gonna Beat Them Saints”?
A word on the line
The Chicago Bears are 2 ½ favorites over the New Orleans Saints. It is important to remember that the line is not what football experts think a team will win by. The line is where the betting will even out at 50-50. So the gamblers determine the line. So when you have such an overwhelming sentimental favorite, as we have with the Saints, that line can be way off.
Give the 2 ½
posted by Alex at
11:11 AM
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