Friday, June 09, 2006

It is hard out here

Wing it and sting it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

That’s a relief
The Senate voted down a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. If it had passed, this would only ban gay marriage in the U.S., not England, so Prince Charles and Camilla are safe.

Makes sense
Anna Nicole Smith is pregnant. If it’s a girl Anna is going to name it Gold, Digger for a boy.

Come on already
A study indicates that people are getting more rude, angry and impatient. Like I have time to hear idiotic studies like this. Jeeze that pisses me off.

That should do it
The Senate voted down President Bush’s gay marriage ban. President Bush was so upset, to perk up Bush’s spirits, Dick Cheney shot a lawyer.

Shoot out
Gun violence in New York City is up 12%. To show how bad it is, today somebody shot a hole through Donald Trump’s hair.

Gun violence in New York City is up 12%. In Times Square, the hookers are offering $50 to check if you’re packing.

Breaching Presidential protocol
A small plane breached the White House air space. It was serious, to notify the President, they had to break policy and interrupt Bush during an episode of “Sponge Bob Square Pants.”

Or something like that
Doctors have come up with a medical name for road rage. It’s called Douche-bag-osis.

Yesterday was 6,6,6, Satan’s birthday. So they surprised Dick Cheney with a cake.  

Not quite the same
The Senate voted down President Bush’s amendment to ban gay marriage. In a weak response, President Bush then asked for an amendment to ban men from shopping at Pier One.

Enough already
Even though President Bush supports a gay marriage ban, Vice President Dick Cheney does not. Cheney then went on to tell his lesbian daughter to stop twisting his arm.

And he means it
Arizona Diamondback pitcher, Jason Grimsley, was released due to a steroid investigation; an angry Grimsley denied the charge and said that anyone who didn’t believe he didn’t use steroids he would swat with his tail.  

In Russia, a man was killed by Lions after he crawled into their cage and shouted, “God will keep me safe.” Sadly, afterwards, god said; “Sorry, I was on the other line. What did the nut-job say?”