We got us our crazy nasty on up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Huh?
The NFL has cracked down on end zone celebrations. To which the Houston Texans asked; “What’s an end zone celebration?”
The Minnesota Vikings agree with the NFL’s crack down on end zone celebrations; the Vikings feel touchdowns should only be celebrated where they belong, when drunk on a yacht with hookers.
A true B.S. degree
The oceanfront University of California at Santa Barbara offers a class in pornography. So you can be at the beach studying porn to earn your Kevin Federline degree.
Varoom
Major League Baseball starts on Sunday. Gentlemen, start your steroids.
Why, Cubbies, why?
The Chicago Cubs will start the season with their two star right handers, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood, on the disabled list; the Cubs are the only team where E.R.A. doesn’t stand for Earned Run Average, it stands for: Expectations Reduced Already.
Major League Baseball starts on Sunday. To get an early jump on the season, the Chicago Cubs announced that, although they are disappointed in their performance this season, they do expect to do better the next year.
Major League Baseball starts on Sunday. This is a tough time for Barry Bonds. He can’t decide whether to start the season by cheating with steroids or lying about taking them.
After all of the endless testimony and proof of steroid use, Major League Baseball has announced they are going to investigate steroid use in baseball. In a related story, the city of Seattle announced they are going to investigate rumors of rain.
Or something like that
Andrew Card resigned as White House Chief of Staff. (And just when things were going so well)
This is the political equivalent of the Titanic firing their pastry chef.
Andrew Card resigned as White House Chief of Staff. Card said he wanted to spend more time with his family and he expects to lower their approval rating down to 30% in no time.
Ratings for “The Sopranos” are way down this season. To give you an idea how low, if “The Sopranos” ratings go any lower, they will have to air it on NBC.
Good news
Great news in Iraq, terrorists released kidnapped reporter Jill Carroll and she is fine; honestly, the news couldn’t be any better unless they kidnapped Geraldo Rivera.
A first
Dick Cheney got a lot of laughs at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Association dinner. This also marks the first time in history the words Dick Cheney and a lot of laughs have ever appeared together.
Seriously, Dick Cheney was killing them at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Association dinner. No, really, he had a shot gun and he was killing them.
Dick Cheney got a lot of laughs at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Association dinner. Fair is fair, you would laugh to if you were told to and you had a shot gun pointed at your head.
Trouble in paradise
Rumor has it that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting. Apparently Brad and Angelina are both growing tired of the other one yelling out their own name during sex.
Rumor has it that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting. It’s no wonder, when Brad first dated Angelina, she was a brunette Paris Hilton guzzling champagne and having wild sex, now Angelina is the starving-baby-adopting, African fly swatting Hollywood Mother Teresa.
Reportedly Angelina nags Brad about his smoking and Brad would like Angelina to go an entire month without adopting another starving baby.
Since you asked:
Man, oh man, I love California. Today we had our windows replaced as the first part of a total remodel – yes, my life will be a living hell for two months – with the front door wide open along with all of the windows open or out, not one bug came into the house all day.
If this had happened back in my home state of Illinois on a day this warm, we would have to have turned the house into an entomology exhibit.
Remember that flank steak recipe?
http://www.emerils.com/recipes/by_name/grilled_marinated_flank_steaks.html
Last night I did it for the first time after marinating for 24 hours. Oh . . . my. . . word. What a difference. It was awesome. Grilled that bad boy on high for about eleven minutes turning it 90 degrees after about three minutes, and then flipping it and then turning it 90 degrees again for the sexy cross marks.
The sauce was like chocolate for steaks. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Tonight? Grilled Lobster Quesadillas with mango and avocado salsa/relish.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_28202,00.html
Huh?
The NFL has cracked down on end zone celebrations. To which the Houston Texans asked; “What’s an end zone celebration?”
The Minnesota Vikings agree with the NFL’s crack down on end zone celebrations; the Vikings feel touchdowns should only be celebrated where they belong, when drunk on a yacht with hookers.
A true B.S. degree
The oceanfront University of California at Santa Barbara offers a class in pornography. So you can be at the beach studying porn to earn your Kevin Federline degree.
Varoom
Major League Baseball starts on Sunday. Gentlemen, start your steroids.
Why, Cubbies, why?
The Chicago Cubs will start the season with their two star right handers, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood, on the disabled list; the Cubs are the only team where E.R.A. doesn’t stand for Earned Run Average, it stands for: Expectations Reduced Already.
Major League Baseball starts on Sunday. To get an early jump on the season, the Chicago Cubs announced that, although they are disappointed in their performance this season, they do expect to do better the next year.
Major League Baseball starts on Sunday. This is a tough time for Barry Bonds. He can’t decide whether to start the season by cheating with steroids or lying about taking them.
After all of the endless testimony and proof of steroid use, Major League Baseball has announced they are going to investigate steroid use in baseball. In a related story, the city of Seattle announced they are going to investigate rumors of rain.
Or something like that
Andrew Card resigned as White House Chief of Staff. (And just when things were going so well)
This is the political equivalent of the Titanic firing their pastry chef.
Andrew Card resigned as White House Chief of Staff. Card said he wanted to spend more time with his family and he expects to lower their approval rating down to 30% in no time.
Ratings for “The Sopranos” are way down this season. To give you an idea how low, if “The Sopranos” ratings go any lower, they will have to air it on NBC.
Good news
Great news in Iraq, terrorists released kidnapped reporter Jill Carroll and she is fine; honestly, the news couldn’t be any better unless they kidnapped Geraldo Rivera.
A first
Dick Cheney got a lot of laughs at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Association dinner. This also marks the first time in history the words Dick Cheney and a lot of laughs have ever appeared together.
Seriously, Dick Cheney was killing them at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Association dinner. No, really, he had a shot gun and he was killing them.
Dick Cheney got a lot of laughs at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Association dinner. Fair is fair, you would laugh to if you were told to and you had a shot gun pointed at your head.
Trouble in paradise
Rumor has it that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting. Apparently Brad and Angelina are both growing tired of the other one yelling out their own name during sex.
Rumor has it that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting. It’s no wonder, when Brad first dated Angelina, she was a brunette Paris Hilton guzzling champagne and having wild sex, now Angelina is the starving-baby-adopting, African fly swatting Hollywood Mother Teresa.
Reportedly Angelina nags Brad about his smoking and Brad would like Angelina to go an entire month without adopting another starving baby.
Since you asked:
Man, oh man, I love California. Today we had our windows replaced as the first part of a total remodel – yes, my life will be a living hell for two months – with the front door wide open along with all of the windows open or out, not one bug came into the house all day.
If this had happened back in my home state of Illinois on a day this warm, we would have to have turned the house into an entomology exhibit.
Remember that flank steak recipe?
http://www.emerils.com/recipes/by_name/grilled_marinated_flank_steaks.html
Last night I did it for the first time after marinating for 24 hours. Oh . . . my. . . word. What a difference. It was awesome. Grilled that bad boy on high for about eleven minutes turning it 90 degrees after about three minutes, and then flipping it and then turning it 90 degrees again for the sexy cross marks.
The sauce was like chocolate for steaks. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Tonight? Grilled Lobster Quesadillas with mango and avocado salsa/relish.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_28202,00.html
posted by Alex at
2:16 PM
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