Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Oh yeah we gonna sta

Since you asked:

As the regular readers of a.L.B.B. – all six of you – know only too well I am a bold guy given to bold statements. As I think it is high time to ramp things up a notch in here, I am going to say something quite controversial. It is not my intention to offend, but if I lose some readers with what I am about to say, well, unfortunately, so be it.

I grilled the best steak of my life last night.

(Again with the best steak ever? You say that all the time, you idiot)

Not so fast, inner tirade, I am not finished. I grilled the best steak of my life last night and it was a . . . top sirloin.

(OK, that’s it. You’ve lost it. I’m calling a shrink. I thought you lost it during that “I liked grilled red peppers” phase, but now you have gone too far)

Whoa, whoa, inner tirade, give me a chance to explain. (Almost lost your own alter ego here, but OK, go on)

All meats have flavor, some have more flavor, via marbling in a rib eye or a softer texture ala filet mignon. Cheaper cuts are cheaper because they are leaner and or tougher, i.e. flank steak. This is why one marinates the flank steak: to provide some flavor but to make it juicer and more tender.

Well, I was at the store about to buy a flank steak when I saw top sirloin was on sale and looked good. What the hell, I will try my Emeril’s flank steak marinade:

on the top sirloin. Oh . . . my . . . god. Grilled it a perfect medium rare and added garlic powder pepper and light salt pepper for a rub. (It has salt from the soy sauce) Tender, juicy, flavorful, and beautiful color. Add soy sauce cooked green beans with toasted sesame seeds and a Yukon baked potato all lathered in that mind-melting sauce and Bob is your freakin’ out-of-his-damn-mind Uncle.

If I offended anyone with this, again I am sorry.

Comedy Writing Comment:
On a more serious note, speaking of offending, I like to think that I can always learn. Well, I think I learned a little lesson about compassion when it comes to writing jokes.

As a comedy writer, I do think people are too sensitive and too politically correct and generally need to lighten up. They are just jokes, right? With that in mind I wrote a joke about the Southwest airlines flight that crashed into the Chicago streets saying Southwest is calling it their new door to door service. Not great but not bad.

Then I read in the Chicago Daily Herald online that, at the funeral service for the little six-year-old-boy killed by that Southwest plane, his brother put a quarter in his coffin so that he could buy a gumball in heaven.

That joke is so taken off of this stupid blog.