Big props for the mad hops up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Too bad
Madonna was released from the hospital after suffering numerous fractures from a bad riding fall. Sadly, this is the closest thing Madonna has had to a big hit in a long time.
After an investigation, horse experts have determined the reason the horse bucked Madonna. The night before, the horse had rented “Swept Away.”
Madonna was released from the hospital after suffering numerous fractures from a bad riding fall. Her riding friends first thought Madonna was just acting like she was hurt, then they remembered, oh yeah, she can’t act. She must be hurt.
Madonna fell so hard it temporarily knocked out her phony British accent.
New and improved
Bowflex has come out with the new Bowflex Revolution. It has over 135 different exercises you can do. And, more importantly, you can hang three times as many clothes on it.
Not good
The Kansas City Royals lost 19 games in a row. Just three away from the American League losing streak record 21. Three loses is nothing for them, the Royals once lost three games during a doubleheader.
They don’t just stink, they stink Royally.
The Kansas City Royals ended their losing streak at 19 games in a row. Apparently President Bush isn’t the only person who decided to take the entire month off.
The Kansas City Royals ended their losing streak at 19 games in a row. How bad are the Royals? On hot days, fans go to the game just to feel the breeze generated from when they suck.
The Kansas City Royals lost 19 games in a row. If the Royals lose many more they’ll have no choice but to appoint Pauly Shore as their mascot.
As low as it gets
On his show “Minding the Store” Pauly Shore confesses he is a sex addict and said he used to partake in sex with groupies. When asked to comment, one of Pauly’s former sex partners suddenly screamed; “Oh my god, I was a groupie for Pauly Shore.”
Whoa
Bill Clinton turned 59 last week. He celebrated by turning a 69.
Horse with no name
The CDC is on the lookout for a batch of heroin that contains a harmful additive. As opposed to that healthy and natural heroin that’s normally out there.
You don’t want those heroin addicts to take anything that’s bad for them, you know what health nuts they are. “Hey, before I inject this rusty needle into my eyeball, how do I know this heroin doesn’t have additives?”
When it rains
The Gaza evacuation is complete. More bad news for the Israeli’s: Now it looks like they aren’t getting their cleaning deposit back.
A while ago
The Rolling Stones launched their “Bigger Bang” tour in Boston. The first time the Stones played in Boston, the locals got so excited they threw boxes of tea in the harbor.
It will hit the fan
The majority Shiite Muslims want to push the Iraq constitution through but the Sunni’s want it stalled. No joke there, I just like to write the word Shiite.
It just goes to show you, when it comes to constitutions, Sunni or later, Shiite happens.
Too bad
Madonna was released from the hospital after suffering numerous fractures from a bad riding fall. Sadly, this is the closest thing Madonna has had to a big hit in a long time.
After an investigation, horse experts have determined the reason the horse bucked Madonna. The night before, the horse had rented “Swept Away.”
Madonna was released from the hospital after suffering numerous fractures from a bad riding fall. Her riding friends first thought Madonna was just acting like she was hurt, then they remembered, oh yeah, she can’t act. She must be hurt.
Madonna fell so hard it temporarily knocked out her phony British accent.
New and improved
Bowflex has come out with the new Bowflex Revolution. It has over 135 different exercises you can do. And, more importantly, you can hang three times as many clothes on it.
Not good
The Kansas City Royals lost 19 games in a row. Just three away from the American League losing streak record 21. Three loses is nothing for them, the Royals once lost three games during a doubleheader.
They don’t just stink, they stink Royally.
The Kansas City Royals ended their losing streak at 19 games in a row. Apparently President Bush isn’t the only person who decided to take the entire month off.
The Kansas City Royals ended their losing streak at 19 games in a row. How bad are the Royals? On hot days, fans go to the game just to feel the breeze generated from when they suck.
The Kansas City Royals lost 19 games in a row. If the Royals lose many more they’ll have no choice but to appoint Pauly Shore as their mascot.
As low as it gets
On his show “Minding the Store” Pauly Shore confesses he is a sex addict and said he used to partake in sex with groupies. When asked to comment, one of Pauly’s former sex partners suddenly screamed; “Oh my god, I was a groupie for Pauly Shore.”
Whoa
Bill Clinton turned 59 last week. He celebrated by turning a 69.
Horse with no name
The CDC is on the lookout for a batch of heroin that contains a harmful additive. As opposed to that healthy and natural heroin that’s normally out there.
You don’t want those heroin addicts to take anything that’s bad for them, you know what health nuts they are. “Hey, before I inject this rusty needle into my eyeball, how do I know this heroin doesn’t have additives?”
When it rains
The Gaza evacuation is complete. More bad news for the Israeli’s: Now it looks like they aren’t getting their cleaning deposit back.
A while ago
The Rolling Stones launched their “Bigger Bang” tour in Boston. The first time the Stones played in Boston, the locals got so excited they threw boxes of tea in the harbor.
It will hit the fan
The majority Shiite Muslims want to push the Iraq constitution through but the Sunni’s want it stalled. No joke there, I just like to write the word Shiite.
It just goes to show you, when it comes to constitutions, Sunni or later, Shiite happens.
posted by Alex at
2:40 PM
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