Wednesday, August 10, 2005

These just in:
A Halloween catalog features a Princess Leia costume for dogs complete with hair buns; this is perfect for those people who won’t be happy until they turn their pets into big losers as well.

A Halloween catalog features a Princess Leia costume for dogs. The Princess Leah dog costume is called the “And I thought getting Neutered was humiliating” suit.

A Halloween catalog features a “Star Wars” Princess Leia costume, complete with hair buns, for your dog. And yet still we wonder why other nations hate us.



What? Oh, haaaaaiiiiiiiiil no, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Say what you want
In Tennessee, a prisoner escaped when his wife shot the officer guarding him; I’ll say this for her: she’s loyal; my wife once called the cops on me when I tore off a mattress tag.

Been a while
He’s fine, but the singer of “Walking in Memphis, Marc Cohn”, was shot in the head by a carjacker; sadly for Cohn, this shot represents the only hit he’s been involved with since “Walking in Memphis.”

Who’d a thunk it?
Two of the Michael Jackson jurors said they think Jackson is guilty and plan to sell a book about it. Let’s review. These clowns voted to free a man they believed to be a pedophile, now they want to cash in on that with a book. These two idiots did the impossible: make OJ jurors look good.


Uh, no, Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
President Bush signed a $286.4 billion dollar road bill even though President Bush admitted he wasn’t an expert on the road bill. It was awkward when Bush said, “As everyone knows in college, I wasn’t exactly a road scholar.”

In that case . . .
A study at Tulane U. reports that women who dress provocatively and flirt and act sexy do not do better at work; unless, of course, their work is prostitution.

Sad sign
They are coming out with mega M&M’s that are fifty five percent bigger; how fat and lazy have we become when people want to consume more M&Ms but can’t go to the bother of simply eating more of them? “Don’t get up and get more, we’ll make the M&M’s bigger.”

Doughy
Pillsbury has launched Dunkables: cinnamon roles you dunk in liquid frosting. This is for those rugged, athletic, do-it-your-self types who want to put on the frosting themselves.

For those less active, you can get a mechanical Dunkables lever that dunks the rolls for you.

Pillsbury has launched Dunkables: cinnamon roles you dunk in liquid frosting. It comes with a coupon for 20% off that long stick with a sponge you’re gonna need for someone to bathe you.

She’s shaking in her knickers
Paris Hilton is writing a book. So much for Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling getting any sleep.