Let me know when it get good to you all up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Not buying it
Michael Jackson was an hour late to court after being treated for, what one of his attorneys called, a serious back problem. I’m not sure I buy Jackson has a serious back problem; a serious back to school problem, sure, but not a serious back problem.
The only back problem Michael Jackson has is with young boys: he keeps going back and that’s a problem.
Member since he liked members
Tennis star Martina Navratilova is suing the makers of a gay credit card for using her name without permission. Do know what the slogan of the gay credit card is? Don’t leave the closet without it.
Did you hear the gay credit card slogan? At least our interest rates won’t bend you over.
When a guy picks up a tab using a gay credit card, and says; “Fellas, it’s on me” he means it.
Busted
A woman in Idaho was stopped after unknowingly driving ten miles on a highway with her cat on the roof of her car. She wasn’t arrested, but the cat was charged with impersonating a stick-on Garfield doll.
I bet on the latter
Bill Clinton is in New York for low-risk heart surgery. He’ll be in the hospital for three days or ten sponge-baths by a hot nurse, whichever comes first.
A little different
Major League baseball players were subpoenaed by congress to testify about performance enhancing drugs. Except the New York Mets, they were subpoenaed for using performance reducing drugs.
When they tried to hand the New York Mets subpoenas, the Mets kept dropping them.
Sammy Sosa’s English isn’t so hot. When they told him he was given a subpoena, he said “Tank you berry much, but I no drink the subpoena coladas.”
Busted
A student in Idaho is facing three counts of disturbing the peace for sending semen covered brownies to another student. Apparently he got the recipe from Paris Hilton’s hacked T-mobile sidekick.
Not good
In San Francisco, you can get a cell phone with a ring tone of moaning porn actors. Is this something you want going off when you’re at your kid’s school play?
Neeee hawwwww
In college hoops, West Virginia upset #7 Boston College, 78-72. When asked to comment, a West Virginia fan said the win was like kissing his sister. When corrected that it was ties that are like kissing your sister, the West Virginia fan said; “Why? Ties are boring. My sister’s hot.”
Jacked up Jacko
Did you see Michael Jackson arrive late at court in his pajamas? Reporters described Jackson as looking disoriented and spacey. Isn’t that the way he always is?
Michael Jackson arrived at court an hour late and in his pajamas and was reportedly spaced-out. It looks like somebody went at it a little too hard on the Jesus Juice at the Neverland Ranch Happy Hour.
Since you asked:
Let’s try a reader’s mail for real. Any thoughts, suggestions, comments, complaints, keep them to your damn self. No, just kidding, send them in to lexkase@san.rr.com
Always remember, comedy writers are needier and more sensitive than a lost labradoodle puppy in the rain. Unless the email goes out again.
Oh, and Happy Birthday Jim Woods, aka, Woody. Or as Wally Kachooks would have put it:
Haprahgeebirthrahdorahloorah.
Wally was a little “teched” in the head. Granted, not as tetched as Hondo, but still tetched.
And three more things:
Hoobastank, Hoobastank, Hoobastank
Oh, and check out the Google desktop and load her up. It is a comedy writer's dream. I can just type in Michael Jackson and it pulls up anything I wrote, emailed or looked up on Sir Psycho
http://desktop.google.com/?promo=rpp-gds-en-v1-1
Not buying it
Michael Jackson was an hour late to court after being treated for, what one of his attorneys called, a serious back problem. I’m not sure I buy Jackson has a serious back problem; a serious back to school problem, sure, but not a serious back problem.
The only back problem Michael Jackson has is with young boys: he keeps going back and that’s a problem.
Member since he liked members
Tennis star Martina Navratilova is suing the makers of a gay credit card for using her name without permission. Do know what the slogan of the gay credit card is? Don’t leave the closet without it.
Did you hear the gay credit card slogan? At least our interest rates won’t bend you over.
When a guy picks up a tab using a gay credit card, and says; “Fellas, it’s on me” he means it.
Busted
A woman in Idaho was stopped after unknowingly driving ten miles on a highway with her cat on the roof of her car. She wasn’t arrested, but the cat was charged with impersonating a stick-on Garfield doll.
I bet on the latter
Bill Clinton is in New York for low-risk heart surgery. He’ll be in the hospital for three days or ten sponge-baths by a hot nurse, whichever comes first.
A little different
Major League baseball players were subpoenaed by congress to testify about performance enhancing drugs. Except the New York Mets, they were subpoenaed for using performance reducing drugs.
When they tried to hand the New York Mets subpoenas, the Mets kept dropping them.
Sammy Sosa’s English isn’t so hot. When they told him he was given a subpoena, he said “Tank you berry much, but I no drink the subpoena coladas.”
Busted
A student in Idaho is facing three counts of disturbing the peace for sending semen covered brownies to another student. Apparently he got the recipe from Paris Hilton’s hacked T-mobile sidekick.
Not good
In San Francisco, you can get a cell phone with a ring tone of moaning porn actors. Is this something you want going off when you’re at your kid’s school play?
Neeee hawwwww
In college hoops, West Virginia upset #7 Boston College, 78-72. When asked to comment, a West Virginia fan said the win was like kissing his sister. When corrected that it was ties that are like kissing your sister, the West Virginia fan said; “Why? Ties are boring. My sister’s hot.”
Jacked up Jacko
Did you see Michael Jackson arrive late at court in his pajamas? Reporters described Jackson as looking disoriented and spacey. Isn’t that the way he always is?
Michael Jackson arrived at court an hour late and in his pajamas and was reportedly spaced-out. It looks like somebody went at it a little too hard on the Jesus Juice at the Neverland Ranch Happy Hour.
Since you asked:
Let’s try a reader’s mail for real. Any thoughts, suggestions, comments, complaints, keep them to your damn self. No, just kidding, send them in to lexkase@san.rr.com
Always remember, comedy writers are needier and more sensitive than a lost labradoodle puppy in the rain. Unless the email goes out again.
Oh, and Happy Birthday Jim Woods, aka, Woody. Or as Wally Kachooks would have put it:
Haprahgeebirthrahdorahloorah.
Wally was a little “teched” in the head. Granted, not as tetched as Hondo, but still tetched.
And three more things:
Hoobastank, Hoobastank, Hoobastank
Oh, and check out the Google desktop and load her up. It is a comedy writer's dream. I can just type in Michael Jackson and it pulls up anything I wrote, emailed or looked up on Sir Psycho
http://desktop.google.com/?promo=rpp-gds-en-v1-1
posted by Alex at
2:30 PM
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