Oh we on it now’r than a mofizzle, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/
Too much information*Sharon Stone has agreed to do “Basic Instinct 2” At 46, Sharon is getting up there in age; when asked what we would see during the famous leg crossing scene, Sharon said; “Depends.”
I’ll take annoying for 100, Alex
*“Jeopardy” ace, Ken Jennings, has topped a million dollars in winnings. That is amazing. Not that he won a million bucks, but that he can stand to be around that snooty-know-it-all Alex Trebek for that long.
Jennings has won 30 times. So that million dollars just about makes up for having to spend so much time around Alex Trebek.
Just say no to tigers
*In Florida, a tiger was shot by a wildlife official after it escaped. The owner is accusing the official of murder, it’s a mess. Folks, for the last time, don’t get a tiger as a pet. If Roy, of Siegfried and Roy, couldn’t handle a tiger, I’m fairly certain you can’t either.
Don’t you love Tiger and Pitt Bull owners? After their pet viscously attacks somebody, they all say the same thing: “But he was so sweet.” Yeah, that’s what Osama bin Laden’s Mom said.
Not a good sign
*It keeps getting worse. Now Courtney Love has been placed in a New York mental institution. Your mental health is pretty bad when you are the most unstable person in a business that includes, Phil Specter, Bobby Brown and Michael Jackson.
Her attorney has described Love as being “beyond uncooperative.” Beyond uncooperative? Oh my word, now Courtney Love has delusions of being Barbra Striesand.
Try and follow this one
*Former coach and Levitra pitchman Mike Ditka may run for U.S. Senate in Illinois, a seat available because Jack Ryan dropped out because his “Star Trek” wife, Jeri Ryan, accused him of forcing her to have sex in public. In other words, the guy who had to quit the race for having sex in public, is replaced by the guy who admitted, in public, he couldn’t have sex without Levitra. Is this a great country, or what?
Remember the good old Clinton days in politics when the only sex was going on under the President’s desk?
Quite the popular fellow
*John Kerry’s poll numbers have bounced up six points thanks to his running mate John Edwards. As far as democrats are concerned, right now Edwards is more popular then a Barbra Striesand impersonator at a gay rights parade.
Oh, now that’s not right, especially since I was born there
*The State of Kentucky is looking for a new state motto. How about: Kentucky, where everything is relative, including our spouses.
Since you asked:
Did you see Will Smith on “Late Show”? Love how he can jump from non-ghetto to ghetto-with-‘tude in nothing flat. I can also do that, but, sadly, as a lily-white boy from Chicago, it doesn’t have the same effect.
Here's the good news:
I think I have finally converted my wife to a heat whimp like me. Last night she didn't argue about turning on the A.C. Prior to that, she was like my Dad when I was growing up;
"We don't need the air conditioner on. See that, you're sweating, you still have plenty of fluid left in your body."
No lie, that is the hazard of living in San Diego. Do we appreciate all the nice weather? No. We just whine like spoiled debutantes when it varies at all. 70 degrees? "Ewww, I'm cold." 78? "Ewww, I'm hot." Somebody slap me. There are orchids that can survive in harsher weather than I can.
And that's how we play "Alex is a weather whimp."
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/
Too much information*Sharon Stone has agreed to do “Basic Instinct 2” At 46, Sharon is getting up there in age; when asked what we would see during the famous leg crossing scene, Sharon said; “Depends.”
I’ll take annoying for 100, Alex
*“Jeopardy” ace, Ken Jennings, has topped a million dollars in winnings. That is amazing. Not that he won a million bucks, but that he can stand to be around that snooty-know-it-all Alex Trebek for that long.
Jennings has won 30 times. So that million dollars just about makes up for having to spend so much time around Alex Trebek.
Just say no to tigers
*In Florida, a tiger was shot by a wildlife official after it escaped. The owner is accusing the official of murder, it’s a mess. Folks, for the last time, don’t get a tiger as a pet. If Roy, of Siegfried and Roy, couldn’t handle a tiger, I’m fairly certain you can’t either.
Don’t you love Tiger and Pitt Bull owners? After their pet viscously attacks somebody, they all say the same thing: “But he was so sweet.” Yeah, that’s what Osama bin Laden’s Mom said.
Not a good sign
*It keeps getting worse. Now Courtney Love has been placed in a New York mental institution. Your mental health is pretty bad when you are the most unstable person in a business that includes, Phil Specter, Bobby Brown and Michael Jackson.
Her attorney has described Love as being “beyond uncooperative.” Beyond uncooperative? Oh my word, now Courtney Love has delusions of being Barbra Striesand.
Try and follow this one
*Former coach and Levitra pitchman Mike Ditka may run for U.S. Senate in Illinois, a seat available because Jack Ryan dropped out because his “Star Trek” wife, Jeri Ryan, accused him of forcing her to have sex in public. In other words, the guy who had to quit the race for having sex in public, is replaced by the guy who admitted, in public, he couldn’t have sex without Levitra. Is this a great country, or what?
Remember the good old Clinton days in politics when the only sex was going on under the President’s desk?
Quite the popular fellow
*John Kerry’s poll numbers have bounced up six points thanks to his running mate John Edwards. As far as democrats are concerned, right now Edwards is more popular then a Barbra Striesand impersonator at a gay rights parade.
Oh, now that’s not right, especially since I was born there
*The State of Kentucky is looking for a new state motto. How about: Kentucky, where everything is relative, including our spouses.
Since you asked:
Did you see Will Smith on “Late Show”? Love how he can jump from non-ghetto to ghetto-with-‘tude in nothing flat. I can also do that, but, sadly, as a lily-white boy from Chicago, it doesn’t have the same effect.
Here's the good news:
I think I have finally converted my wife to a heat whimp like me. Last night she didn't argue about turning on the A.C. Prior to that, she was like my Dad when I was growing up;
"We don't need the air conditioner on. See that, you're sweating, you still have plenty of fluid left in your body."
No lie, that is the hazard of living in San Diego. Do we appreciate all the nice weather? No. We just whine like spoiled debutantes when it varies at all. 70 degrees? "Ewww, I'm cold." 78? "Ewww, I'm hot." Somebody slap me. There are orchids that can survive in harsher weather than I can.
And that's how we play "Alex is a weather whimp."
posted by Alex at
12:53 PM
<< Home