Don’t be playa hatin’ all up in here, or your playa hater drawers what gonna get played, you follow Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers? (No? Neither do I, really.)


Mon Dieu, we missed you
*Osama bin Laden narrowly escaped capture by French troops in Afghanistan, according to the head of France's armed forces. The problem is that, as soon as one French soldier yells to Osama “Surrender,” the rest of the French army drops their weapons and raises their hands.

How much power does the head of France’s armed forces really have? That’s like being the head of PETA in Korea.

The other problem is there is no French word for surrender unless it’s followed I.

Could there be a more humiliating end for Osama than being captured by the French Army? That’s like Mike Tyson losing a fight to Gary Coleman.

Martha Vader
*Martha Stewart resigned from her company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. It was very dramatic. Martha bowed and then handed over her light saber, then climbed into her Imperial Star fighter and flew away from the Death Star.