We must be out our mizzy's, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Mon Dieu, p.u.
*Osama bin Laden narrowly escaped capture by French troops in Afghanistan.Could there be a more humiliating end for Osama than being captured by the French Army? Why not make the humiliation complete? After he's captured, by the French, give Osama a Queer makeover.

Why are the French trying to capture Osama, you ask? The guy has been living in caves and hasn't showered in a year; the French are the only ones who can stand to smell him.

Bada bing
*Some good news for Martha Stewart. While Martha's in the slammer, Tony Soprano will manage her crew.

Office pool
*The NCAA men's basketball tournament, or March Madness, begins on Thursday. You either get March madness or you don't. I told my doctor; "I got Gonzaga in the semis" and he gave me a shot of penicillin.

The midget formerly known as a symbol
*Prince was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Apparently they've lifted their; "You must be this tall to get into the Hall" restriction.

No!
*Whitney Houston has checked into drug rehab. What a shocker, who could have seen this one coming?

You know who I feel sorry for? The person who has to follow Whitney in group meetings. That is one tough act to top. Don't even try.

She even looked older than Whitney
In North Carolina a 96-year-old woman is in trouble for being caught with cocaine. You can tell she's been doing coke, she looks like she's 98.