We crazy like that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Beating around the Bush
*It turns out that President Bush’s brother Neil Bush, who is getting divorced, had many affairs including women in Asia that Neil claims simply showed up at his hotel room for no charge. We call that the Kobe Bryant defense.

Upon hearing about all the dirt on Neil Bush, Roger Clinton said; “Hey, get your own gig, Pal.”

A good start
*The Howard Dean campaign is accused of dodging a $900 sandwich bill by a New Hampshire deli. In Dean’s defense, he could be trying to demonstrate his Presidential ability by creating a deficit.

Nahhh
*Indians minor league pitcher Kazuhito Tadano is asking for forgiveness for his appearance in a gay porn video in which he engaged in a homosexual act. The good news is baseball players are so sensitive and caring, so his teammates probably won’t give him a hard time about this.

Why the long face?*John Kerry won the New Hampshire primary. Kerry has a long, but presidential face, you could see that face on Mount Rushmore, if Mount Rushmore was a little higher.

Not good
*I don’t want to say Dennis Kucinich is a lost cause, but, in the New Hampshire primary, Charlize Theron received more votes.

Improvement
*Howard Dean did better in New Hampshire than he did Iowa, finishing in a close second place. So, instead of a red-faced rant, Dean only gave a light-pink faced diatribe.