Monday, January 19, 2004

Can I get a Boo Yah and a Booty dance from ya’ one time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


Working man
* At court Michael Jackson had a lot of support from his family, his Mom and Dad were there, his sister Janet. Even Tito showed up, but he had to leave. Tito was just there to deliver a pizza. Yeah, he had to go back to work at Dominoes.

La Toya was there. She was the one out front walking back and forth with the restaurant sandwich board ad.

Michael Jackson’s dad, Joe, is kind of a creepy looking guy, isn’t he? Is it just me or does Joe Jackson look like a cross between Snidely Whiplash and Super Fly?

Mon Dieu, part 52
*Paris France has opened it’s first Starbucks. You can tell the French workers are new to Starbucks. When a customer ordered a latte with two extra shots, the employees surrendered.

Doesn’t deserve a break today
*Kobe Bryant has lost his McDonald’s deal. Which is ironic because if only Kobe had eaten at McDonalds instead of ordering room service he wouldn’t be in this mess.

Mark these words
*A wild, tumultuous and exciting primary is set to unfold in Iowa. This also marks the first time ever the words wild, tumultuous, exciting and Iowa have been used together in the same sentence.
(We kid the wonderful Midwestern good folks of I-O-Way)

Like Tony Montangyah, mang
*Did you see all the snow at the New England/Indianapolis game? There was more white powder than at Whitney Houston New Year’s Eve party.

Would a lie by any other Rose smell as bad?
*It turns out that “Pete Rose: My Prison Without Bars” is riddled with inaccuracies. For example, Rose claims he started ahead of Roberto Clemente in the 1976 All Star game. The problem? Clemente was dead at the time. So, I guess, technically, Rose was right. For that matter, Rose also started ahead of Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth and Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Now that’s cold, fuggedaboutitahhight?
It is better now, but it was cold back east. In New York, tourists were hiring hookers just for the lingering burning sensation they provide.

The Rap? Just Beat it
Have you seen the new Michael Jackson video? It’s titled; “How Not to Act When Charged with Eight Counts of Child Molestation.”

An idea who's time has come
After long consideration, I think I finally know what we should do to Saddam Hussein. We should dress Saddam up like David Gest and throw him in a room with Liza Minelli. That’ll teach him.


A switch
“Along Came Polly” was number one at the box office this weekend. I like they way they used a ferret in the movie as opposed to the usual movie practice of retaining a ferret as an entertainment attorney.