I can't post links, because I have the computer savvy of the missing link. But copy and paste this on your internet browser:

http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm

or this:

http://www.harvard-magazine.com/archive/00ja/ja00.conan.html

This may be the funniest thing ever written along with David Sadaris' Esquire feature on his brother the Rooster.