Tuesday, November 04, 2003

I’m a bounce it like this, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Holliday tip
If you want to lose that Halloween candy fat, here’s a great new exercise: chase a lawyer around a tree.

She's a Tripp
Speaking of fat, Linda Tripp has been awarded over $500,000 in her lawsuit against the defense department. A half a million is a lot of money. Even Linda Tripp could get a date with that much cash.

That is so sad
In discussing the Kobe Bryant/Shaquille O’Neal spat, L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Busse said he felt like the father of his players. If that is true of all team owners, you have to feel sorry for Clippers owner Donald Sterling; it’s as if he has fifteen kids who take the short bus to school.

Where is Beavis?
A female trainer alleges that Colts QB Payton Manning, while in the college training room at Tennessee, pressed his bare butt flush against her face. In football terms he ran a naked end-around and she was the nose tackle.

Here’s my question: What kind of injury did he have? Did he sprain his prostate?

What do you do say when you press your butt against a trainer’s face? “Does this look funny to you?”

Too bad she didn’t shoot back with; “The face isn’t familiar but the breath is the same.”

P. Did it
*I still can’t get over that P. Diddy ran the New York marathon. This has inspired other rappers to compete: Snoop doggy dog and Bow Wow are going to enter the Westminster dog show.