You know somethin’, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers . . .?

Thar she blows, and we love her for it . . .
Hurricane Isabel has passed through, but it did a lot of damage. Disasters can bring out the best in Americans. I saw a picture that actually brought a tear of national pride: in Virginia, a group of blacked-out hurricane survivors banded together and had a margarita party using a blender attached to a gas-powered trimmer. (Sniff) God bless America.

My great buddy, Woody, called to go on the record to say that the East coast – as opposed to our West Coast – has real weather. Granted, but I said that I want to go on record that –God forbid, knock on wood – when we have an Earthquake, remember this when everyone in the East is muttering; “Those morons. Why do they live there? Don’t they know they have earthquakes?”

Cluster F@#k, continued
Al Gore is going to help Gray Davis campaign. This is like Ozzie Osbourne helping Anna Nicole Smith to sober up.

For his part to court the gay vote, Gray Davis signed a sweeping gay-rights bill. For his part, the gay community simply loves the way Arnold Schwarzenegger uses five syllables to pronounce the word queer.

I knew that sounded familiar
Paleontologists have discovered the fossilized bones of a buffalo-sized rodent. Sort of like the guests that appear on “The Jerry Springer Show.”