Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Oh yeah, it's on now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Holy Moses
Hurdler Edwin Moses, 48, has announced he will try to qualify for the Olympic Trials. You can’t blame Moses for getting sentimental about these Olympics, after all, he competed the first time the games were in Athens.

He is going to run in his “World’s Best Grandpa” t-shirt.
To give you an idea how long it has been since Moses has competed, he hasn’t even prepared a positive drug test denial statement.

Put the ug in ugly
Have you seen Oregon football team’s new yellow and green Nike uniforms? I don’t want to say they are ugly, but there have been more attractive paintball wounds.

High School all over again
The people running in the California recall election remind me of characters in high school: Arriana Huffington is the brainy European exchange student; Larry Flynt is the creepy kid lurking around to peek into the girls locker room, Gray Davis is the guy hanging from his jockey shorts in the boys locker room and Arnold is the jock who hung him there.

Might be a problem
Russia’s best known ballerinas, Anastasia Volochkova, has been fired by the Bolshoi ballet because they said she is to fat. She may be a little hefty; her tutu is stained with smashed male partners.