Wednesday, April 30, 2003

You're good right there, you know what I'm sayin', Torn Slatterns and Nugger Ranchers?

That bad, huh?
*The Detroit Tigers are 3-21 and playing horribly. Right now, the Tigers are the baseball equivalent of the Dixie Chicks.

How bad is it? The Tigers can’t wait to travel to Toronto just in the hopes that they will contract SARS and be put out of their misery.

Consider the source
*The Rev. Jerry Falwell called the Dixie Chicks three ``French Hens.'' To which the Dixie Chicks responded; “Please, we prefer the term Freedom Hens to French Hens.”

The Dixie Chicks shouldn’t be too concerned. Falwell is the same guy who accused sexless children’s purple Tele Tubby character, Tinky Winky, of being a homosexual.

Hate to hear that
*The Texas Rangers are in last place in the AL West. If that wasn’t bad enough, things just got worse for the Rangers; Today they announced they are ashamed President Bush is from Texas.

It’s sad, sad situation
*The Iowa State basketball coach, 48-year-old Larry Eustachy, said he used bad judgment when photographs in the Des Moines Register showed that he partied hard – including kissing young girls - with Missouri college students. The pictures prove, once again, that there is nothing sadder than a middle-aged guy trying to be young. Straight up, Dudes.

The University issued a statement saying that Eustachy would receive an appropriate reprimand. The guy is married with kids. There is no punishment the school could give him that wouldn’t seem like a trip to Maui compared to what his wife is going to do to him.

Instant Replay
*Chicago manager Dusty Baker won in his first game back in San Francisco as the Cubs beat the Giants 4-2. There was a scary but touching moment before the game: Baker was about to receive his NL championship ring from San Francisco general manager Brian Sabean at home plate, but, first, J.T. Snow had to run up and scoop-up little Darren Baker out of harms way.