Tuesday, February 27, 2018

"You did it, baby. The book is excellent, the writing brilliant. You tried to bring kindness to chaos, which was your way. #IllBeGoneInTheDark #MichelleMcNamara"

Despite having a huge excuse not to be, that I cannot get into, I am a big fan of the Patton Oswalt. Today, I found this particularly touching. Inspiring story for anyone who has had to battle their way through the darkness. 

Best beware of the Bad Falquune, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Today is National Pancake Day. What a coincidence, because Hope Hicks is about to flip.

Hope Hicks is testifying to the House Intelligence Committee. She’s going to testify to the Intelligence Committee that Eric Trump does not have any.

Due to the Parkland shooting, companies are dropping the NRA like rats from a sinking ship. Today Blockbuster Video dropped the NRA, and they’re not even a company anymore.

Jimmy Kimmel was on “Ellen” and cried during a touching tribute to his son, Billy. Of course, getting Jimmy Kimmel to cry is about as hard as getting Harvey Weinstein to sweat. 

Delta and United are dropping discounts for NRA members following the Parkland shootings. Spirit Airlines did not drop the NRA, but they are charging more to store automatic weapons in the overhead bin.

At the PyeongChang Olympics, they handed out over three condoms a day to athletes. Six condoms a day to those slutty Curlers. 

At a fashion show in Milan, they used drones instead of models to present their purses. These are the first drones to be powered by champagne and cocaine.

The PyeongChang Winter Olympics Closing ceremonies were touching. Particularly that one part where the US men’s hockey team gave the US men’s curling team wedgies. 

Since you asked:

"Marvelous" Marvin Hagler Had a Bearded Doppelgänger Orator 

One of the greatest exercising tips there is was given by one of the Winter Olympic athletes, forget which one. (Might have been my gal, Jessie "Diggin' Dawg" Diggins) 

When you are thinking about bailing-out on your aerobic workout, just do it for ten minutes. Anybody can endure anything for ten minutes, except maybe for watching “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

After ten minutes you can quit. One of the things it took me forever to learn is that ten minutes of exercise is ten times better than doing nothing. Like many people, I thought if I could not do the whole workout, forget it. 

That is stupid.

Besides, after ten minutes, the worst is over, you’re warmed up and chances are you feel good and will just go ahead and finish your regular workout. 

From time to time, I have been able to get in the habit of getting my aerobic workout in early in the morning. 

When I lived in New York, I would run laps around Washington Square Park (half-a-block from my studio apartment) for three miles or, if really motivated, down and around the (1983) World Trade Center and back for five miles.

What I found out was running in the morning made me feel so good, many times I would work out again in the afternoon. Without planning it, I was doing two-a-days. 

Stopping for a pop, a snort, a stiff one, a bevy, a crotchtail, a bowl of loud-mouth soup, after work on Wall Street in the early ‘80's was almost a given. Not doing it made you antisocial. But bailing on the right of passage is what I would have to do to get a workout in. Running in the morning freed me up to be a friendly coworker.  

One morning, I woke to the usual 5:00 AM darkness to run three miles around Washington Square Park. None of the usual suspects were out running, which surprised me. When I got back, I looked at the clock to discover it was 3:00 AM. Went back to sleep.

That was a stupid and boring story. Why did I mention that? 

How about this? One day running around Washington Square Park, I accidentally stepped on a pigeon. Miraculously, it was OK. 

Hell, that story is almost just as bad.

OK, how about this one: many mornings on my Washington Square run, there was a muscular shirtless - no matter how cold - bald black man with a long beard who resembled boxer Marvin Hagler, who would give a speech on a soap box. One day I stopped to listen to his deep baritone diatribe and, yeah, he was bat-poop crazy.

Then, a year later, I moved from New York to San Diego. Drove to Balboa Park to play on my Shearson Lehman basketball team in the broker league, and who was giving a speech in front of the gym? Crazy Shirtless Marvin Hagler. 

Asked him if he was the guy from Washington Square Park just to be sure, and he was.

The point is, exercise for ten minutes. And try not to waste people’s time with crappy stories of 3:00 AM runs and stepping on pigeons. 

But the Hagler stuff is OK.