Serena Williams just had a girl. We don’t know the name of Serena’s girl, just that John McEnroe does not think she is as good at tennis as boys. 

The US lost in soccer to Costa Rica, 2-0 and now their World Cup qualifying is in doubt. “The next game is so important, they may have to start their best pitcher out of rotation,” said most US sports fans.

“The Art of the Deal,” ghost-writer, Tony Schwartz, said there is no way Donald Trump will pay his $ 1mil. donation to flood victims. And he probably will sue the flood victims for complaining about it. 

13 human feet have washed up on a Vancouver beach since 2007. They think the victims were hacked. 

The Cleveland Browns cut QB, Brock Osweiler. “And I thought my one-week firing from the Trump White House was humiliating,” said Anthony Scaramucci.  

The Cleveland Browns cut QB, Brock Osweiler. That is the NFL equivalent of being swipped-left on Tinder by Bill Cosby.

While handing out food to Houston flood victims, Donald Trump said his hands were too big for the plastic gloves. Oh my word. Trump made a joke. This disaster is worse than I thought. It is the apocalypse. 

After Joel Osteen closed his doors to flood victims, Houston Texan, JJ Watt raised $15 million for them. The JJ in JJ Watt stands for Juxtaposed Joel. 

The 33-games-behind-first San Diego Padres fired their hitting coach, Alan Zinter. I am shocked. The Padres had a hitting coach? Next thing you’ll tell me is the L.A. Chargers have a Director Of Not Doing Stupid Stuff. 

The New York bar, Johnny Utah, is being sued by a woman who hurt her knee on their mechanical bull. Johnny Utah was the FBI agent in “Point Break.” She should sue the producers of “Point Break” for their lousy surf shots. One second Utah is riding goofy-foot, the next second he is regular. It is embarrassing.