There's a feeling I get when I look to the West, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

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North Korea fired a missile over Japan. “That is great news,” said an old, skinny North Korean woman chasing a Schnauzer with a skillet. 

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Kendall Jenner has been named “Fashion Icon of the Decade.” Upon hearing this, Kendall said, “This is an honor, and I want to personally thank Mr. Decade.”

Kendall Jenner has been named “Fashion Icon of the Decade.” Nice, except Kendall thinks Icon is the name of the “Game of Thrones” Ice King and she thinks Decade is a rapper. 

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Apple CEO, Tim Cook confirmed they are working on a driverless car. Yeah, pass. I have a MacBook.  “Sorry to hear your car drove into your house. Did you upload the “No House Crashing” software update? No? Too bad.” 

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28-year-old Chicago Cub, Anthony Rizzo, donated $3.5 mil. out of his pocket to Lurie Children’s Hospital. When I was 28, I handed out stolen dinner mints to kids for Halloween candy.

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The Detroit Lions have signed QB, Matt Stafford to a $135 mil. deal. Which is pretty amazing considering Stafford has won just as many playoff games as Kendall Jenner.

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French satire magazine, Charlie Hedbo, has stirred trouble by depicting the Hurricane Harvey victims as Nazis. “We should shut those bastards up,” said Neo-Nazis. “Tried that,” said Islamic Terrorists. 

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28-year-old Chicago Cub, Anthony Rizzo, donated $3.5 mil. out of his pocket to Lurie Children’s Hospital. When I was 28, I rubbed magazine cologne samples on my arm pits. 

28-year-old Chicago Cub, Anthony Rizzo, donated $3.5 mil. out of his pocket to Lurie Children’s Hospital. When I was 28, I ate fortune cookies and sweet and sour packets for dinner. 

28-year-old Chicago Cub, Anthony Rizzo, donated $3.5 mil. out of his pocket to Lurie Children’s Hospital. When I was 28, Febreze was a suitable laundry substitute.

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Kendall Jenner has been named “Fashion Icon of the Decade.” Immediately after this honor, Kendall Googled "Icon" and "Decade."

Since you asked:

Saw “Chef’s Table, France” on Alaine Passard. Michelin Three Star Chef. On Netflix. 

(Here is a fun fact: my beloved Chicago has as many 3-star Michelin restaurants as London. Two.) 

First of all the guy, Passard, is a genuine cooking genius. First to make an art of farm to table. 

Passard is the embodiment of doing what you love leads to greatness. 

But what cracks me up is how enamored Alaine seems to be with being French. French is such a gorgeous sounding language, it just bubbles off the tongue like fine Champagne, and Alaine just seems to bathe and luxuriate in the sound of his docent tones. And his gestures. And his chic, but understated clothes. And his heavenly garden. 

Mon Dieu, so freaking French. Such joie de vie. Ew la la. Huh, huh. No? Oui? N’es pas? 

The other thing that struck me is, when they interview great self-made successes and geniuses like Passard, Warren Buffett, George H.W. Bush and Neil Armstrong, one thing that sticks out is how lavishly they heap praise and credit on their teachers and their parents and their bosses. 

“Thank heaven I got to work for Mr. Bossy McBossypants. He was so generous and taught me so much. I owe him everything.”

Not with a trace of false modesty, just so intensely positive. Upbeat.  Appreciative. 

When I got out of my first year at UCSB for the summer - UCSB, my idea of heaven on earth - I found myself back in my beloved bucolic and Rockwellian Winnetka, Illinois, working for the Winnetka Park District. We were mainly the golf course crew for the public par three course, but we were also responsible for the ball parks and the parks. We mowed a lot of grass, is what we did. 

And at night, we drank a lot of beer and chased - sadly emphasizing the chase - a lot of women. 

One of the old guys who worked there was named Earl. For the movie, Earl would be played by Tommy Lee Jones reprising his “Lonesome Dove” character Woodrow Call, but far, far grumpier. Woodrow Call was Richard Simmons compared to Earl. 

Earl hated everything. Earl hated music. He hated jokes. He hated talking. And he muttered and swore constantly. Earl had served in the Merchant Marines, he looked like he had been in a few fights. Earl had some teeth issues. Earl had clearly had a rough life. (Earl did not grow up a pampered jock in Winnetka)  If Earl was a cartoon character, there would be a dark cloud above Earl's head. 

The only thing Earl admired was hard work.

Earl and I were as opposite as any two human beings could be - besides me and my brother, John. And Earl despised me.

After a day of digging ditches with Earl, I ran to my boss's office and begged him never to have me work with Earl again. My boss informed me Earl had already beaten me to that request.

But I promise you, if Alaine Passard, or Neil Armstrong, or Warren Buffett or GHW Bush had worked with Earl, they would have said,

“Thank goodness I had time working with Earl. Earl taught me the value and the emotional satisfaction of a hard day’s work. If not for Earl, I would not have learned that back-breaking labor, while brutal, is also its own reward.”

Me? I hated that mean ol’ Earl. Maybe that's why I am writing in a blog for free? 



Did you know that a great man once said if you work really hard and you're kind, great things will happen?