Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Sunny, why you think you're funny when you got no honey, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

Still cannot believe what an honor it is to be included in this amazing group of decathletes and heptathletes coached by the late, great Sam Adams, circa 1980 at UCSB. (Sam is second row, first on the right)

That is me first row, second from the left, with Mark O'Connor and Ron Wopat on left and right. Bill Hartnett, a fellow snake brother, is also first row, fourth from right. And Al Hamlin's (first row, third from right) golden, Strider, one of the great dogs of all time. 

Missing is John "Snake" Serrano and Mike "Spider" Brown and "The Manster," Ed Dumas. Among many others. 

Included in this group are world and national record holders and national leaders. But they are even better people. 

In a “Rolling Stone” interview, Katy Perry said John Mayer was the best sex she has had. Whereas Orlando Bloom was the best sex with someone named after a Disney theme park.

Spirit Airlines has awarded a baby born on its plane free flights for 21 years. Hasn’t that baby suffered enough?

In North Carolina, a pregnant woman ran over a purse thief with her car. He’s OK. She was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, he was charged with larceny and being stupid enough to mess with a pregnant woman. 

Russia suffered a huge computer hacking. Even their files where they colluded with Trump were intruded. 

20 years ago, Mike Tyson bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield’s ear. There was a rumor Tyson did it on a bet to win a rib-eye dinner. But that was steak news.

Spirit Airlines awarded a baby born on its plane free flights for 21 years. This is a public relations switch for Spirit Airlines. Initially, when her water broke, they were going to fine her for having more than 3 ounces of liquid and then charge the baby for a seat.

In Little Rock, a man drove over a monument of the ten commandments. He wants the last commandment, thou shalt not covet, changed to: thou shalt not covfefe. 

In light of the famous picture of Eric and Donald Jr. posing with a dead leopard, now there’s a story they shot a bunch of large, dark, African antelopes. But Eric said this is fake gnus.

A woman died in an Oklahoma Walmart bathroom and her body was left in it for three days. 

Dear Nightmares: 

Trampled in a stage stampede at a Justin Bieber concert has been replaced as my worst fear.

Big days for Martha, the 120 pound mastiff. Saturday, she was named the winner of the Ugliest Dog Contest. And today, she was named Sec. of Dog Shows by Donald Trump.

Just watched “Sully.” Could not help wondering how much Spirit Airlines would have charged them, after they landed on the Hudson, for having more than 3 ounces of liquid on board? 

Since you asked:

Although a key player in the 2016 playoffs and World Series, Chicago Cub back-up catcher, Miguel Montero, has been a thorn in manager, Joe Maddon’s, side for quite a long time. M&M openly bitched about playing time during the playoffs. And I have thrown out as many base runners this year as he has. His tossing Arrieta under the bus was clearly the welcomed last straw.

When I went from viewing Bill Clinton as a morally flawed, but canny and capable politician, to despising him was when his smug egomania allowed him to forever taint the image of the presidency and the oval office with his sleaziness with Monica Lewinski. And his shameless lying about it. (What is the definition of is?) 

To paraphrase "Tequila Sunrise," blaming a man for having sex is like blaming a compass for pointing North. It was the classlessness and lying that made Clinton so hateful.

Donald Trump now makes Clinton look like Thomas freaking Jefferson.

We thought we saw the depth of sinister vindictiveness in a president with Nixon on his tapes. And those were tapes Nixon thought nobody but him would hear. Trump sends these tweets knowing we will see them. 

There is something wrong with Trump on a pathological level. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Does anyone say no to that?”

“What are you, a smart-ass?”

“No, you can't ask me a question.”