What have I said over and over again are the two biggest signs of an asshole? A, a combover and, B, feet up on the desk while talking on the phone.

When I first started working at Shearson Lehman in La Jolla,  circa 1986, Shearson still sponsored the Andy Williams golf tournament at Torrey Pines. All the big shots from Shearson in New York were flown out by the company.

One of the Shearson big shots was this Ivy League douche-bag haircut in a suit named Wick Simmons.  (Yes, his name was Wick) Wick blew into the office like, A, we were supposed to know who he was, which we did not, and, B, be impressed with who he was, which we weren't.  

Wick kicked a broker out of his office so he could use the phone. I remember walking by and Wick was leaning back in his chair with his shiny Oxfords crossed and propped up on the desk. Wick could not have looked more like a smug tool. Right then and there, I vowed never to put my feet up on a desk. And to remember that anyone who did was an asshole.