The big winner of the debate was Ken Bone. But they cut off his follow-up question:

"Have you seen my stapler?"

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At the debate, Melania Trump wore a $1,000 Gucci blouse called a Pussy-bow. She misunderstood when Trump told her to grab something to wear.

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It is the three year anniversary of when fire fighters had to be called to rescue a man who got his penis stuck in a toaster. Three years and he still isn’t welcomed back at his local Home Depot. 

It is the three year anniversary of when fire fighters had to be called to rescue a man who got his penis stuck in a toaster.  And to think today he is running for president. 

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At the debate, Melania Trump wore a $1,000 Gucci blouse called a Pussy-bow. And Trump couldn’t keep his hands off of her Pussy-bow.

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On Facebook Live, Mark Zuckerberg, chatted while barbecuing ribs in his backyard before watching the debate. Right after, masked gunman broke in and stole over $100 dollars in beer and barbecue sauce.

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At the debate, Donald Trump repeatedly referred to his comments to Billy Bush as just locker room talk. And that locker would be that of the minor league hockey team, the Rhode Island Rapists.

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Last night was the second presidential debate. Was it just me, or did Donald Trump lurking in the background look like the old, pervert mall cop trying to cop a peek at the girls changing?  

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During the debate, Donald Trump said if he won, he would try to throw Hillary Clinton in jail. Jail would be preferable to that locker room Trump goes to.

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At the debate, Donald Trump repeatedly referred to his comments to Billy Bush as just locker room talk. Donald Trump is that locker room fixture: the old naked guy who spends in inordinate amount of time toweling off his crotch.

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At the end of the debate, Donald Trump complimented Hillary Clinton as a fighter.  Donald Trump Jr. thought his dad sounded so much like a pussy he wanted to grab him. 

Since you asked:

The Pittsburgh Steelers’ throw up, er, throw-back uniforms make them look like old-timey prison inmates breaking a huge pile of rocks. Only thing missing is a big ankle chain attached to a bowling ball.  They look like mutant bumblebees. 

Does anyone else have a big ol’ crush on AT&T’s Lily? Like I thought, y’all a bunch of liars.

Was I the only one who thought Trump lurking in the background  looked like the old, pervert mall cop trying to sneak a peek into the women's dressing room?

And to think I was once upset that Clay Tres, Clay-so-nice-they-named-him-thrice, Clay Cubed, Clay Matthews III, was not getting enough advertising love.  

No, really, those Pittsburgh Steelers throw up, er, throwback uniforms are uglier than a taped conversation between Donald Trump and Billy Bush. They look like a bunch of pirate prisoners on the Canary Islands having an inter-prison colony football game. 

I’m serious, those Pittsburgh Steeler throw up, er, throwback uniforms are uglier than Chris Christie’s tighty-whiteys after he heard the Donald Trump-Billy Bush tape. (Too much?) 

The one day I had to do Ann Caroline’s hair during pre-school turned out to be picture day. Her class picture looked like the Nick Nolte Mug shot.

One more cup of coffee and I am going to be thrown into a bad Al Pacino, Tony Montana imitation from “Scarface.”  "Chew some kinda guy, mang."

Tom Brady’s win against the Browns was so good it was almost half as good as lying on an Italian beach naked with Gisele Bundchen. 

There is an expression in politics deriding an unqualified candidate by saying, “This guy is not fit to be elected dog catcher.” There is no way I would allow my dog, Wally, to be around Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is the kind of pathological liar you can actually see his face believing his lies as he says them. When Anderson Cooper quoted what he said to Billy Bush and referred to it as sexual assault, Trump’s words were:

“I didn’t say that at all.”

Everybody in the country heard him say that. 

During the debate, Trump's daughter, Tiffany, was not seated with the other three Trump children. And then, after the debate, when Trump tried to greet her with a kiss, she awkwardly dodged the kiss.