Our on time is on time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers 

Not sure Donald Trump is up to speed on this Brexit/European Union thing. He’s hoping three other countries leave the EU, Netherlands, Holland and the Dutch.  

Donald Trump reiterated his support of water boarding. Trump is as good at diplomacy as dogs are at sarcasm. 

Donald Trump reiterated his support of water boarding. Don’t you love it when an swollen, orange marshmallow like Trump acts tough? It’s like when they dress a dog up as a professor. 

A survey shows that 39% of New Yorkers admit to masturbating at work. And, after reading this survey, 100% of New Yorkers are going to start bringing Purell to work. 

Asked to comment, a New Yorker said, “Admit to masturbating at work? Oh, no, I won’t admit to it.” 

The other 61% did not respond to the survey because they were in the bathroom. 

A survey shows that 39% of New Yorkers admit to masturbating at work. What is really scary is that is just a survey of the cab drivers and the subway train engineers. 

Former London mayor, Boris Johnson, said he will not run for Prime Minister of England. He will, however, run for the title of Oldest Looking Bratty Toddler. 

“Tramps Against Trump” are women who send nude selfies to people who promise not to vote for Trump. Here’s my question: If this worked, wouldn’t Bush have won? 

“Tramps Against Trump” are women who send nude selfies to people who promise not to vote for Trump. Don’t worry. They still have “Hookers for Hillary” who were former “Whores for Gore.”