Friday, April 29, 2016

Both Chicago teams, the Cubs and the White Sox, are leading their leagues. When teams from the same city are in a World Series, they give it a nickname. The Mets and the Yankees series was the Subway Series. The Dodgers and the Angels series was the Freeway Series. You know what they would call the Cubs and the White Sox World Series? End of Days. 

Former Baltimore Ravens, Ray Lewis’s son, Ray Lewis III, was charged with criminal sexual conduct. The way things are going someday he may take a stab at being just like his dad. 

US citizen, Kim Dong Chul, has been sentenced to 10 years in a North Korean prison for espionage. The last thing you want is to go to prison with the name Dong.

After the messy break-up of “Live with Kelly and Michael,” Kelly Ripa awkwardly brought up Michael Strahan’s two divorces. Then they cut to commercials for Midol and Xanax.

Oxford, Alabama has passed a law that people can only use the bathrooms of their biological sex. Or as I call all these transgender bathroom laws: Much Ado-do about nothing. 

In Australia, a man was hospitalized when a venomous spider bit his penis. When they injected him with the anti-venom, he said, “Are we positive a nurse doesn’t have to suck out the venom?” 


“Prestigious. Often an adjective of last resort. It’s in the dictionary, but that doesn’t mean you have to use it.”

“The Elements of Style,” by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. 

Since you asked:

Anyone who had any doubts about who the bad guy is in the “Live! with Kelly and Michael” soap opera, now we know given Kelly’s tantrum and absence followed by her nasty rip on air of Michael’s divorces.

Not sure about you folks, but if they were paying me $15 million a year, like ABC/Disney does Kelly, they could do whatever they want with the co-host. As long as their name does not rhyme with Schmardashian.

Like I said, Michael apparently can get along with the most out- sized egos on the planet on “Fox NFL,” with Howie Long, Terry Bradshaw and Jimmy Johnson. If he cannot stand Kelly Ripa, she must be vile.  

Obviously it was not just Michael Strahan who decided not to tell Kelly Ripa for fear of her subsequent meltdown. It had to go all the way to the top at Disney/ABC. Just as obviously there was a precedent causing their covert actions. And they were right. Kelly had a meltdown. 

It has long been rumored Kelly Ripa’s tolerance for other people is lower than her negligible body fat. As history has shown us, once a bubbly TV host is revealed as a mean-spirited phony hypocrite, there is no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. Isn’t that right Paula Deen, Rosie O’Donnell, Arsenio Hall and Martha Stewart? (And hopefully soon, Rocky the squirrel’s evil twin, Rachel Ray) 

Kelly’s rip at Strahan’s two divorces with that cold-blooded smile on her face was chilling. Good luck finding someone to get along with that pint-sized shrew. 

Maybe Bob Costas? 

It's too early to tell if Kelly Ripa will survive her "The Diva is Wearing No Clothes" moment, but one thing is sure: Kelly Ripa has pooped the America's Sweetheart bed forever.