In Houston, a United Airlines pilot was arrested for running several brothels. He got the idea of becoming a pimp from seeing how United treats their passengers. “Yo, where’s my money, bitch?” 

An angry Ted Cruz defending his wife told Donald Trump; “You’re a sniveling coward and leave Heidi the hell alone.” If they’re not careful, this campaign could get ugly.

Green Bay QB, Aaron Rodgers, claims in 2005, he saw a UFO in New Jersey. He said it was scary, it was huge, loud and it was bright orange and it . . . oh, sorry, no, that was Donald Trump’s face. 

New Jersey lawmakers have introduced a bill that would make it illegal to walk and text at the same time. To which teenagers are asking, “Like how are you supposed to walk if you can’t text?” 

It’s cheaper than padding all the sign posts. 

It has been a year since Zayn Malik left One Direction. His co-workers at Starbucks got him a cake. 

“The National Enquirer” claims presidential candidate Ted Cruz had five mistresses. In a related story, Tiger Woods has thrown his hat into the presidential ring. 

This is a shock. So they’re saying Ted Cruz is not a closeted homosexual? 

An anti-Trump ad featured a naked Melania Trump and Trump is furious. How can people see Melania naked for free when it costs Trump a fortune?