Friday, March 18, 2016

What do we name this guy? I am leaning toward Otis. 
(Hypothetically. We did not get another dog)




A study claims Donald Trump’s speeches are given at a fifth grade vocabulary level or below. Asked to comment, Trump said; “That study was done by a doody-head.” 


The NCAA tournament had their biggest upset in nine years when #12 Yale beat #5 Baylor. Yale needs work on their trash talking: 
“Say there, athletic protagonist, your sparse usage of the Oxford comma smacks of obtusity.” 


73-year-old Harrison Ford has signed for the fifth Indiana Jones movie in 2019. This one is called “Indiana Jones: Temple of Incontinence.’ 


Supreme Court nominee, Merrick Garland, has tutored D.C. elementary kids for years. Upon hearing this, Sarah Palin was shocked. How could they nominate someone who tortured kids? 


73-year-old Harrison Ford has signed for the fifth Indiana Jones movie in 2019. This one is called “Indiana Jones: Don’t Let Him Fly a Plane.”



Two Californians are suing Starbucks for shorting customers on drink orders. Who do you pick in this one? Two douche-bag Starbucks customers, slimy lawyers or the snotty Starbucks employees? 



The NCAA tournament had their biggest upset in nine years when #12 Yale beat #5 Baylor. The Yale students went so crazy they rioted. Well, not rioted, but some of the guys did let-down their man-buns. 


When asked to name his foreign policy advisors, Donald Trump refused, but said he had them, but he doesn’t use them. Donald Trump just told his lie a lie. 



In Australia, a tipsy 57-year-old Madonna exposed a fan’s breast onstage. When did Madonna turn into my crazy, horny, hippy Aunt Kitty? The one who got drunk at my cousin’s wedding and jumped-on the best man? 


In Australia, 57-year-old Madonna was drunk on stage and exposed a young woman’s breast. And yet she cannot figure out why her 16-year-old son, Rocco, does not want to live with her.