Monday, February 08, 2016

Lex's Post Suprah-rah Bow-rah-lew-rah rants, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

After winning the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning kissed Papa John and shilled Budweiser. All he did not do was sing to the tune of the Nationwide jingle: “I am going to Disneyland.”

Cam Newton has been criticized for ending his pouty, post-Super Bowl press conference early. He didn’t end it early. Someone fumbled a football and Cam jumped away. 

To give you and idea how bad a game Carolina Panther, Michael Oher, had, if they remade “Blindside” it would be a horror film. 

You know a Super Bowl was not played well on offense when one of the gutsiest performance came from somebody named Lady. 

Cam Newton is being criticized for not diving for a fumble. Not his fault. In honor of Coldplay's halftime, Cam decided to have a conscience uncoupling of the football. 


Rumor has it that, after Kanye’s Twitter pinky-in-the-butt-feud with his ex, Amber Rose, Kim has kicked Kanye out of the house. No word on if Kanye snuck back in through the backdoor. 

Jeb Bush brought a New Hampshire crowd to its feet by calling Donald Trump a loser. No word yet on if Trump plans to retaliate with the vaunted; “I know you are, but what am I?” defense. 

Since you asked:

Before the Super Bowl, I wanted both Cam Newton and Peyton Manning to have gutsy, brave games and exude a lot of class. But I wanted Peyton to win. 

Only one of those things happened. 

Anyone on the Carolina Panthers can spin it any way they want: Cam Newton was clearly nervous as hell - and who can blame him? What were you doing when you were 26? - but he dove away from that fumble like he dove away from the responsibility of talking to the press afterwards. 

As for the real winners of the Super Bowl, I am not a Coldplay fan, but I am a Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars and Beyonce fan. Nothing has changed. Lady Gaga knocked it out of the park. 

The Denver Bronco defense was amazing. Von Miller deserved the MVP. Nothing else was. Well, maybe Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars and Beyonce, in that order. 

After the Super Bowl, both Cam Newton and Peyton Manning were what they were:  Cam is an exuberant and wildly talented but spoiled 26-year-old brat, and Peyton is a former great player whose body has given out and all he wants to do now is shill products. 

Even his own brother, Eli, could not be happy for Peyton following that performance.