One of my UCSB decathlon snake brother’s son, Marc Hartnett, just won a Junior International slalom race in Canada. Congratulations to little - now big - Marc Snake. Way to slither. 

And Sean Snake is winning high school hoop games with many sweet tres and Claire Snake continues to hit it out of the park as a five-tool performer. To honor these great Snake occasions, I will make a classy joke in their honor:

A study from England claims smelling people’s gas helps you fight diseases like cancer. So to my Uncle Carl, thank you for letting me pull your finger. 

And to my wife I would like to say: apology accepted.