Never, ever, trust a non-drinking vegetarian with a tiny, tiny penis

An historian claims Adolf Hitler had a deformed, tiny penis. Turns out the title of his book, “Mein Kampf,” actually means “My Shrinkage.” 

An historian claims Adolf Hitler had a deformed, tiny penis that was so small, Hitler had to sit down to pee. Hitler put the Her if Fuher. 

An historian claims Adolf Hitler had a deformed, tiny penis. It was so bad, Hitler took the dick right out of dictator. 

An historian claims Adolf Hitler had a deformed, tiny penis. And just when you thought it was finally  OK to name your baby boy Adolf. 

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Jeb Bush spent $130 mil. on this election and never won a state. Who was his campaign finance manager, Mike Tyson? “So Mike, tell me why did we need so many tigers?” 

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Mike Tyson’s Las Vegas mansion is for sale for $1.5 mil. According to Tyson; “The manshion ish absholutely lishted to shell.” 

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Boston Red Sox third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, is under fire for showing up to spring training overweight. He didn’t help his cause today when he ordered a pizza delivered to third base.