Kanye West is furious at Kylie Jenner because she signed a huge shoe deal with Puma that conflicts with his deal with Adidas. To find out more go to Rich-Douche-Bag-Problems.com. 

Scientists have discovered a 50,000 year old neanderthal woman had the DNA to prove she was the first to have sex with a human. Asked to comment, Larry King said; “I called her Nan the Neanderthal.” 

Kylie Jenner has signed an extremely lucrative deal with Puma. Her father, Caitlyn, when she was Bruce Jenner, Bruce never had an athletic shoe deal, but why would he? He only won an Olympic gold medal in the Decathlon and the title World’s Greatest Athlete.

US airstrikes in Iran and Syria have destroyed an estimated $500 million dollars of ISIS’s money. ISIS will now be attacking in Uber cars. 

Asked to comment, a spokesperson for ISIS said; "We don't care about money because we trust in . . . $500 million? Oh my, that is being a lot of damn camel food."

Talented celebrities seem to be dying a lot. Now is a good time to be a Kardashian.