Wally's default expression is the surprise of an Oxford English professor who suddenly realizes his fly is open

Forgiveness, hope and kindness, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Scientists now have DNA proof humans and Neanderthals mated 50,000 years before we thought. The report is called: The Kardashian Effect. 

In a backstage rant on “Saturday Night Live”, Kanye West called Taylor Swift a “Fake Ass.” But make no mistake, Kanye is not a Fake Hole.

Scientists say global warming will cause an increase in diarrhea world wide. So go ahead and eat at Taco Bell. You might as well. 

Scientists now have DNA proof humans and Neanderthals mated 50,000 years before we thought. The report is called: The Trump Effect. 

Donald Trump called Pope Francis “Disgraceful.” You’d think Trump and the Pope would get along, one serves god, the other thinks he’s god and they both wear a big, funky thing on their head. 

At a rally in Reno, Hillary Clinton barked like a dog. Not surprised, she is still dogged by her emails she is trying to bury and Bill is humping everything in sight. 

Donald Trump has slipped behind Ted Cruz in the latest polls. As a result, Trump has vowed to build a wall between those polls. 

Scientists say global warming will cause an increase in diarrhea world wide. So, joggers, it will be too hot to go for runs, but you’ll still get the runs. 

A Florida couple has finally come forward to collect their share of the $1.58 bill. lottery. They did not say if they were taking it one lump sum or will have it distributed to casinos, drug dealers, tattoo parlors, car dealerships, liquor stores and prostitutes on a monthly basis.

The Ted Cruz campaign pulled a commercial because it featured a female porn star. They were hoping she would give the commercial a happy ending.

Since you asked:

Khloe Kardashian is my favorite Kardashian sister, which is to say hiccups is my favorite kind of illness. 

A funny daughter of my friend saw Khloe in an airport and reported Khloe could not have been nicer. It pains me to report another friend said the same thing about Paris Hilton in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. 

Before and after Jay Leno absolutely crushed it on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” not once, but twice ( he did a guest spot for a missing Snoop Dog after he killed on the monologue) they played a game of “Password”. 

For Password, Jimmy Fallon was teamed with Jennifer Lopez and Khloe Kardashian was with Quest Love. 

Let me preface this with, while I think Khloe is the nicest Kardashian sister, I do not think she is smart, so I was not expecting much. 

How bad and stupid was Khloe during the game of Password? If I had a choice between choosing Khloe as a partner or my dog, Wally, I would pick Wally each time. With Wally our chances of winning are the same, but he is not nearly as annoying. 

For the password, Rod, Khloe tried to say Stewart, but her Valley Girl accent was so thick nobody could figure out what she was saying, especially Quest Love. "Start? Stork? Stew Art"?