In New York, they lit the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza. You know who loves it when they light that tree? All the rats living in it. It makes it feel like a festive rat disco. 

In New York, Federal authorities seized 274 pairs of shoes made from endangered species. The shoes were made from white tiger fur, mountain gorilla skin and Caitlyn Jenner’s scrotum.

Kim Kardashian is complaining of a really rough time with her pregnancy. Kim says she is bloated, swollen and uncomfortable. Or as women call that: pregnant. 

Coldplay will perform at halftime of the Super Bowl. Or as I call Coldplay’s Super Bowl halftime performance: getting another beer and taking a leak. 

We took an office poll, and Coldplay finished behind Adele, Taylor Swift and Prince, but slightly ahead of a performance review.