"Damn, that water is cold..."

Child, I do declare, I can't get paid a nickel to bust up a Chiffarobe, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



CEO of Disney is involved with bringing an NFL team to Los Angeles.  Great. This is a guy who thought the Baltimore Ravens were named after the Disney show “That’s So Raven.”

One of the people, who lived in the Akron apartment building hit by the private plane, was saved by a Hot Pocket. He went out to get a Hot Pocket when the plane hit. So the official score is Hot Pockets lived claimed: Ten million; hot pockets lives saved: One.

A study of 293 college women claim women who give men oral sex are happier. This study was conducted by the smartest college guys in the entire world. 

Tennessee man apologized to his wife after he plead guilty for trying to have her killed three times. He was trying to kill her because she always nags he can’t do anything right the first time. 

According to a study, for the first time there are more obese women than men. This study was conducted by men who don’t want women to know who conducted this study. 

The American Postal Workers Union has endorsed Bernie Sanders for president. They’re biased because Bernie used to be a Pony Express rider.

During the Thursday night NFL game, the New York Jets wore all-green uniforms and the Buffalo Bills wore all-red uniforms. Color-blind people could not distinguish one team from another. It was as if they were referees.