In a surprise, Joe Biden announced he will not run in 2016. If you look at the video, you can see Joe blinking out “Help, Hillary will kill me” in morse code.

A group of astronomers is looking for an alien signal coming from a distant star in the Northern Hemisphere. The signal is a little rough, but they think it says; “Watch me whip, watch me nae-nae.”

Anyone want to buy a “World Series Winning Chicago Cub Fans For Joe Biden For President” t-shirt?

UFC star, Ronda Rousey has a boyfriend. All we know is he is UFC heavyweight Travis Browne, and he is probably concussed.

New England Patriot QB, Tom Brady, said he wants to play for ten more years. Many experts feel that prediction is inflated. 

The Chicago Cubs were swept by the New York Mets and will not win the 2015 World Series like the movie “Back to the Future” predicted in 1985. But at least the movie was right about Crispin Glover having a long and successful movie career. 

A group of astronomers is looking for an alien signal coming from a distant star in the Northern Hemisphere. The signal is a little rough, but they think it says; “Bet everything on the Cubs.” 

Today, Donald Trump vowed to build a wall in space to block the alien signal. 

Since you asked:

It seems that each and every day I am inventing new and exciting ways not to get paid. Now this beloved blog is offered on a cell phone app in  . . .  Russia. That's right, I have gone Boris Spassky on your asses. 

You wanted to talk about the Chicago Cubs, so let’s do it.

Great season, third best record in baseball, great young players and the trifecta:  best manager, general manager and owner in baseball. So much to be excited for down the road. 

They just ran into a buzz-saw of young arms - and one amazing old one in Colon - that are on fire. And Murphy and Duda can’t stop leaving the yard. 

Great team, the Mets, with the world’s worst fans. Remember, these are the loud, ugly schumucks who, at the start of the season, took out a full-page ad to fire Mets GM Sandy Alderson and the nice old guy manager, Terry Collins. And that ugly, classless family of loudmouth jerks on the wall at Wrigley Field screaming "Let's go, Mets."

Love how the classy Cubs fans stuck around to cheer their team and manager. Great thing to do.

Oh, and you're welcome Cait. My jokes poo-pooing your show, "I Am Cait" and weak ratings just got you renewed for another year. You're welcome. The show must be cheaper than a case of wine and box of rouge to produce.