Artifacts found in William Shakespeare’s house suggest he smoked marijuana. That helps explain Hamlet talking to a skull.

"So maybe what the playwright meant to say was "Doobie or not doobie." 

Janice Hough, Comedy Writer. 

New York Jet QB, Geno Smith, is out 6 to 10 weeks with a broken jaw after a punch was thrown in the locker room. The Jets are in shock. They are not used to having a throw connect.

In response to his remark about Megyn Kelly’s period, Donald Trump said he has always had a great relationship with “the women.” Not counting the two times he’s had “The Divorce.”  

A Florida woman was arrested for drinking in a bar with her two little kids in her still-running car. People were shocked. That’s illegal in Florida?

A 35-year-old Florida woman, April King, was arrested for drinking in a bar while leaving her two kids, age 2 and 4, in her running car. This could seriously damage King’s chances for Florida Mother of the Year.

Since you asked:

One of the greatest moments in television history was backcstage at some MTV award show. Some bubble-headed bimbo from MTV ran up to Keith Richards, shoved a mic in his face, and as proud as any human has ever been of themselves, breathlessly asked;

“Keith Richards, what time did you go to bed last night?”

Keefers shoots a wry “Who the hell is this idiot?” look to someone off camera and shoots right back with a raspy;

“Who said I went to bed last night?”