Saturday, May 09, 2015

In Yellowstone, a mama bear chased a group of tourists, but nobody was hurt. Because the bear did not fight, it is scheduled to face Floyd Mayweather in June.

Floyd Mayweather called Manny Pacquiao a coward. Mayweather has boxing dyslexia. You’re supposed to talk trash, throw punches and then say nice things. Mayweather said nice things, threw no punches and is now talking trash.

The NFL is considering suspending Tom Brady for the deflated footballs. The only athletes who should be suspended for having deflated balls are Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao.

Speaking of deflated balls . . . 

New York Yankee, Alex Rodriguez, hit his 661st home run passing Willy Mays for fourth place. I’ve seen the public not care about things before, but this is the most the public has not cared about something since Vanilla Ice announced his comeback.

Since you asked;

ESPN fires Bill Simmons for speaking his mind, but they keep a cashier abuser, Britt McHenry, many times cocaine and sex assault charged, Michael Irvin, and a double-murder charged Ray Lewis, on the payroll. ESPN now stands for Employing Sociopaths, Predators and the Nefarious.

A female Seattle hotel clerk said Seahawks rookie, Frank Clark, threatened to hit her like he hit his girlfriend. Authorities have no choice but to ask ESPN to hire Clark.

All golf announcers, before they speak, should ask themselves: "Is this easy to say with a microphone in my hand instead of a club?" 

Am I the only one the 17th island green at Sawgrass for The Players Championship makes hungry because it looks like a bone-in rib-eye? That hole has more balls in the water than a men's water polo tournament. This is the Island Green for the geographically challenged. It is an isthmus. 

Has anyone ever seen Chloe Moretz and Elle Fanning in the same room at the same time? 

Watching the Player's Championship and they talk about players with the yips, like Kevin Na, who just can't finish hitting the ball. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever . . .  what I mean is, I cannot believe that someone cannot finish what they . . . it is absolutely silly to think that something like that could . . . 

Welcome all Conaco lawyers and writers . . . 

For $99.99, you can get Gary Koch's Tiger Woods T.P.C. call "Better than most" played on a loop in your bedroom.

Every conversation I have ever heard between a caddy and his golfer sounds like an O.C.D. convention. The grass, the wind, the distance, the temperature, the hole placement, the ball, the lie, the gallery, the club, the swing, the score, the fairway, the green, the line, the traps, the hills. Rainman would have been one hell of a caddy.