Sunday, May 03, 2015

Rush Hour 4

 No Rush At All Hour 

Seven-times domestic violence-charged boxer, Floyd Mayweather, picked “It’s a Knockout” to win the Kentucky Derby. “It’s a Knockout” is also what Mayweather predicts will happen on his next date.

Watching Mayweather-Pacquiao was long, anti-climatic and a little painful. And that was just Jamie Foxx singing the National Anthem.

Though all the big shots were at the Mayweather- Pacquiao fight, many celebrities don’t follow boxing. Kim Kardashain thought it was the worst sequel to “Rush Hour” she has ever seen.

Before the big fight, the creepy Burger King guy, Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather walked out together. The only people missing were Donald Trump and Geraldo Rivera and it would have been the Douche-hole cinco-fecta.

Mayweather V. Pacquiao result? I’ve seen episodes of  “Real Housewives of Atlanta” with more punches. Mayweather’s corner should have told Floyd to pretend he was on a date night with his ex-wife.

In his fight against Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather made $180 million. We still don't know who got paid more to hit someone a couple times, Mayweather or Tiger Woods's ex, Elin Nordegren.

Mayweather V. Pacquiao was billed the Fight of the Century. The fight of the Century? I’ve seen Century 21 real estate agents fight harder than that.

Since you asked:

In golf, a fight almost broke out between Keegan Bradley and Angel Miguel Jimenez. Not a fight really, but for golf it was bad. Afterwards, Bradley did not RSVP to Jimenez’s Tony Awards party.

Truth is I just flat out do not like Angel Miguel Jimenz. He strikes me as the smuggest little blow hard on the PGA tour. And this is a tour with Tiger Woods. 

And I don't like how he insists we pronounce his name Ann-u-yell Meegwell Heemenethththththth. Take a pill, lisp boy. (Would love to call him Angel to his face with the emphasis on the G)

The way Ain-dgel was sticking his pompous nose in the face of the golf official on that drop ruling, Keegan Bradley was in his rights to get in Jimenez's bloated, ugly face. 

After the match, here is what I would have paid good money to hear the much taller, younger and fitter Keegan say to Jimenez with a ZZZZZ:

"I seriously hope we never play together again, but if we do and you say one damn word to me or my caddy, I don't care how old you are, I am going to grab you by your little poodle pony tail and drag your stinky, cigar-smelling ass into the closest water hazard. Sabes Ain-dgel?"