Sabes no tickee, no shirt, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


Olympic Decathlon gold medalist, Bryan Clay, used string tied to a javelin to remove his daughter’s loose baby tooth. That is a fascinating way to get rid of an unwanted body part. “Don’t even think about it,” said Bruce Jenner.

An NFL investigation reveals the New England Patriots probably deflated the balls with Tom Brady’s knowledge. The report is titled: “What Everyone Else Knew Six Months Ago.”

Chicago Cubs fans are worried their star rookie, Kris Bryant, has not hit any home runs. Cubs fans, be patient, it takes steroids a while to kick in.

A jury found a Florida couple guilty of having sex on a beach. They also found them guilty of doing the most normal thing a couple in Florida has done all year.  

After a 13-year absence, McDonalds is bringing back the Hamburglar. Well, that should solve all of their business problems.

Ex-One Dimension member, Zayn Malik, is in a Twitter feud with One Dimension member Louis Tomlinson. And that is this week’s story my Aunt Debbie won’t get.

An NFL investigation reveals the New England Patriots probably deflated the balls with Tom Brady’s knowledge. And here I was hoping the only ball story in sports would be the difference between colts and geldings in the Preakness.


After a 13-year absence, McDonalds is bringing back the Hamburglar. "Great idea. Do that instead of fixing the crappy food and bad service," said a rude and sarcastic restaurant expert.


Dear Non Comedians:

We know you mean well, but . . . When you tell us; "Now that was a good joke," we do not hear; "Now that was a good joke." We hear; "All your other jokes sucked."