Monday, June 10, 2013

When can we stop the charade? Prince Harry and his alleged not-dad, James Hewitt. 

Who day do ‘dat voodoo like we do ‘dat voodoo, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers? 

Arby’s has gift cards for Father’s Day; it’s the perfect way to tell your father; “You did a crap job of raising me, but I guess you’re still technically my father.”

There is a growing trend of veterinarians who prescribe medical marijuana for dogs; “Hopefully this will make my dog lazier and a less picky eater,” said nobody who owns a dog.

 In Florida, the $590 mil. Powerball was won by an 84-year-old woman; this is exciting for her grandkids. The checks she sends on their birthdays could go from $6 up to $9.

People are still complaining about the NSA spying on our online activity; I for one have nothing to hide, I would just like to say to the NSA all those visits to Justin My computer was hacked. That wasn’t me.

The Tony Award were on at the same time Sunday night as NBA finals between the Heat and Spurs. If you think the Heat and Spurs is a gay S&M bar? You probably watched the Tony awards.

More (redundancy alert) Random Lex Thoughts:

Not ready to put LeBron in Michael’s category, but it was impressive how someone could have a horrible game and still be awesome.

Blackhawks/Bruins will be a great series. Don’t have to be a hockey fan. Virg and Ann Caroline are also new ‘Hawks bandwagon hoppers like myself.

Grilled an awesome medium rare filet mignon rubbed in sea salt, pepper and finely ground French roast coffee. Served with store-bought garlic mashed potatoes – added freshly grated parmesan cheese -  and side of HP sauce. Glass of Layer Cake Malbec, badaboom, badabing, Bob is your Uncle.

What do we have to do to get Gloria Allred to sue Donald Trump? How awesome would that be? Two of the biggest and most litigious publicity whores, both with rancid and vile personalities, each with the vindictive tenacity of pit-bulls.

Hockey would be a great sport for a gay player to come out, ‘cause those guys are tougher than a $1 dollar Las Vegas steak.

It is amazing how much fun I have stand up paddle board surfing; it feels like being a kid at the beach when you cannot believe how fun it is to play in the water for hours. Catch a wave and think; “That was awesome. Gotta go get another one.” Repeat until so tired I can barely carry my board back to my car.

Awesome band names. Some really are, some should be:

Husker Du

Stank Weeds


Dire Straits


The Olsen Twins (Punk heavy metal)

Scooby Snacks

Lincoln’s Beard

Holy (all-girl punk Christian band)

The Wally Cuddle Couch Band

Crazy Horse

The Lieutenant Dan Band

The Flaming Ferocities and the Hasbee Has-beens.

Torn Slattern and Nugget Ranchers ( a Lumineers cover band)

Poot Sack 

The San Marcos Passers


Scrotie and the Scrotes. (Hootie and the Blowfish cover band)

Judy and the Judy-Judy's. 

Wally's Nuts