Wednesday, May 08, 2013

All the boys think  she’s a spy, she’s got Betty Davis eyes, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Have you seen the video of the driving dogs in New Zealand? The driving dogs would never make it in Los Angeles. They have neither a middle finger nor a trigger finger.

Donald Trump is planning on opening a golf course in Dubai; a vain, humorless egomaniac who can’t get along with even TV talk show hosts building a lavish resort in a country where they behead you for not praying enough. What could possibly go wrong?

Have you seen the interview of that awesome guy, Charles Ramsey, who rescued the three girls in Cleveland kidnapped for ten years? What a hero. Can you imagine anything worse? Those poor girls had to live in Cleveland for ten years. 

Tom Cruise has signed up to star in the fifth “Mission Impossible” movie. Tom is 50, he’s getting up there. In this one the impossible mission is not to pee on the toilet seat in the middle of the night.

Donald Trump has been in a series of nasty Twitter wars with Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and even Cher; today it got really bad, Donald Trump accidentally got in a Twitter fight with that thing on his head.

Since you asked:

Here is what has to happen with Donald Trump to get him to go away. Somebody has got to take one for the team and just, while on-camera with Trump, beat the holy living hell out of him. Sure, they’ll do jail time. Yes, Trump will sue him.

But once we see Trump’s hair flapping like galley door in a storm and hear his bitch-like screams and shrieks, watch him do a limp-wristed floppy hands defense and then wet his pants, it will not only be hysterical, but he will have to go away for a long time.

Sure, physically Trump is a fat old whore, it would be like beating up your drunk Aunt Mildred. But when you consider the damage Trump has done to investors, in the end, it would be fair.

For once Trump will not be able to lie about what happened. Of course, he’ll try, lying is like scowling for Trump, it just comes naturally. But, eventually Trump’s huge ego combined with his humiliation of taking a public beat-down will make him disappear.