Sorry, brave NBA gay player, Jason Collins, but, thanks to the Milwaukee Brewer's hot dog sausage racer, Frank Furter, you're second. 

Never go full-retard, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The San Diego Chargers selected Manti Te’o. Or is it just somebody on Twitter and Facebook pretending to be the San Diego Chargers?

The San Diego Chargers head coach, Mike McCoy, selected Manti Te’o. So, ironically, Te’o will be playing for the real McCoy.

Los Angeles Lakers, Dwight Howard, is expecting his fifth child from a fifth different mother; I’ve heard of mixing up your shot selection, but this is silly.

They opened the George W. Bush Library and Think Tank; well, its not really a Think Tank, its more of a Think Inflatable Pool.

A woman in China killed a man by squeezing his testicles until he went into shock and died; upon hearing this, Hillary Clinton, Maria Shriver and Kim Kardashian all said; “Wait, you can do that?”

Once again it is official, Los Angeles has the worst traffic in the country; it is so bad, the Los Angeles Lakers had to plan to leave two hours early to get to the Staple Center and lose the playoffs.

The New York Jets released QB, Tim Tebow; that’s tough. Getting cut by the Jets is like getting a show cancelled on NBC.

There is a condom that looks, smells and tastes like bacon. Thus officially making bacon-flavored condoms the worst Passover/Mother’s Day present ever.

A Santa Ana woman was found guilty in a trial for cutting off her husband’s penis. Why did they have to have a trial? Either exhibit A is still attached to the plaintiff or it is not. 

Since you asked:

Can’t wait to watch “Silver Linings Playbook” tonight. Grilling beef ribs (boiled in beer, coke, with garlic and onion and finished on the Weber with barbeque sauce) and my roasted Yukon garlic and parmesan potatoes.

It is a fascinating study in human nature people can sympathize with physical pain or problems but not as much with mental pain or problems. Especially when you consider we all have had both.

Growing up in Winnetka, Ill., we had a mental hospital/asylum in our town. It was an old, scary big brick building right on the lake. But when we drove past it as little kids, we would not speak. Or, if we did speak, we would only whisper.

As a child, they might as well have said it was a hospital for monsters. From time to time a patient would escape and the entire town was in lockdown mode. The labels murderer and mental patient seemed to be synonymous.

 On another topic:

No lie, I have at least five Facebook friends who have written big-selling books. And today I misspelled a word so badly, Spell Check had no clue. Had to go back and try to misspell it better so it could at least give me some options. Spell check was so pissed at me, it wanted to say; "Dude, seriously? You didn't know there was one, let alone two Y's in Synonymous? And you call yourself a writer?"