Friday, April 26, 2013

This right here my good buddy, Stewie McRosco.

LSU cornerback and NFL middle round draft pick, Tharold Simon, was arrested after he told a Eunice, Louisiana policeman the officer would be fired if he wrote him a parking ticket. Simon was charged with resisting arrest and impersonating Reese Witherspoon. 

There is a condom brand, J.D.’s, that looks and tastes like bacon; thus creating the world’s worst ever Mother’s Day present.

In China, a woman is on trial for murder for squeezing a man’s testicles until he died. If acquitted, she will be hired by the Chinese government to get the US to pay-off our loans.

In Utah, a Mormon Bishop attacked a mugger with a Samurai sword; and no, that is not an episode of “The Simpsons.”

Since you asked:

When I smell that someone has passed gas on a plane - and they always do - I like to find the ugliest, least-likeable person I can and mentally blame them and glare angrily. 

Usually it is a Donald Trump-looking mother- effer.