Dip, bap, bitty-slap, bam, bang, boom, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Plans are already under way to make a movie about the surviving Boston Marathon, bomber, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev; It’s called “Dude, Where’s My Boat?”

Actress Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct when her husband was arrested for DUI. Apparently an intoxicated Reese got incensed when the officer suggested she get her under-bite fixed.

The evidence against the Boston Marathon, bomber, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, is overwhelming; it is so overwhelming only the OJ Jury could get him off.

When they first arrested Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, I wondered; “Now why would they arrest an eye chart?”

We are finding out more and more about the idiot Tsarnaev brothers. Their terrorist code names were al-Beavis and ak-Butthead.

A study claims the social networks are getting ruder and ruder. Asked to comment, the dude with the Twitter username BurgleTurds said; “Go screw yourself.”