Harriett, Harr-ie- ittt, hard-hearted harbinger of haggis, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Let me get this straight. A secret service agent hires a Columbian hooker, brings her back to his sleazy hotel room, has sex with her, cheats her out of her fee and then lies about it. Here is my question: why isn’t this guy a politician? He’s a natural.


This really happened:

So I am in that wonderful natural high after a hard workout and right before grilling and having a cocktail. Then I have to run to the store. At the in-grocery-store Starbucks is a full-blown hipster. Dude in over-the-ankle laced-up leather boots, skinny jeans, middle eastern scarf, close-cropped beard, thick black rim glasses and a floppy wool hat. He looked like a guy going trick or treating on Halloween as a Hipster.

Before I even know I did it, out of my mouth shoots:

“What the f@ck is that?”

Ten-to-one he got there in a Prius.