Saturday, April 14, 2012

The Guess Who No sugar tonight / new mother nature

Great as they were, they were underrated.

Police in Lubbock, TX say they are keeping a close eye on a nude maid service; if found guilty, the police will sentence the nude maids to house arrest. At the cop’s houses.

Donald Trump will allow transgender contestants in the Miss Universe pageant. So good luck to Ima Tuckingjunk.

Rumor has it Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West’s child. And you thought Satan laughed with delight the day the music died? Satan is going to wet his red silk pants laughing at this one.

Yesterday was National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day; because that is what our fat asses need is an entire day devoted to fried baked dough and cheese.

A study claims alcohol can help your problem solving skills. Especially if your problem is turning a six into an eight at last call.

Since you asked:

Among the leaders of the RBC Heritage on Saturday is Sweden's Carl Pettersson. No offense to Mr. Pettersson, when it comes to golf, there is only one Carl and that is the renowned cinch bug and manganese expert, Bill Murray's Carl Spackler of "Caddy Shack" fame.

Also among the leaders is Boo Weekley. Last week the Masters was won by Bubba Watson. Bubba and Boo. When did having a baby-talk name become a golfing asset? Maybe Snooki needs to take up the game.

Among the leaders of the RBC Heritage are Colt Knost, Boo Weekley and Carl Pettersson. Besides having a chance to win, all three share something else: rather prodigious guts.The real winner of this tournament? The hot dog and beer vendor.

Speaking of golf, the great Sandy Lyle is going into the Golf Hall of Fame. He should also go into the golf name Hall of Fame. Right next to Water Hazard, the Swedish great, Enthe Treese, and that famous Iraqi golfer, Outif bu-Ounz.

Bubba, Boo and Tiger. Uptight British golfer, Colin Montgomery, must be spinning in his gravy.