This was the scene of the crime on Sunday, La Jolla Shores

You go on away from here now, Miss Daisy and Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A Southwest Airlines plane had a huge piece of the roof fall off because the plane was so old. “We are now pre-boarding all passengers who like the feel of wind in their hair.”

Charlie Sheen wants to trademark 22 of his sayings including Duh. Winning, Tiger Blood and Adonis DNA. Unfortunately Charlie’s most used phrase cannot be trademarked and that is; “Honey, are you an undercover cop by any chance?”

In response to a plane’s roof tearing off, Southwest Airlines said it did not expect cracks in their planes so soon. In other words, they expected cracks in their planes eventually. Wow, how soon can I book a flight with these geniuses? “Oh, no, that plane is fine, we don’t expect the wing to fall off for a whole year.”

Facebook has new servers and they are sharing with the world. This way even more people will be able to follow the intimate details of folks they haven’t wanted to contact in ten years.

The Masters tournament began with 81-year-old Arnold Palmer, 71-year-old Jack Nicklaus and 75-year-old Gary Player playing together in a par three tournament, and before they teed off, they were talking trash. Well, talking trash for old white golf guys; “By cracky, I hear tell your female sibling is quite gregarious and popular with her many suitors.”

Filming of “Jersey Shore” in Italy has been delayed because the cast is demanding more money. They’re sticking together for more money, just like the cast of “Friends” except, you know, without any of the talent, brains and good looks.


Charlie Sheen wants to trademark 22 of his sayings including Duh. Winning, Tiger Blood and Adonis DNA. Unfortunately for Charlie, his most often used phrase, “You shut your whore mouth”, is owned by Mel Gibson.

Filming of “Jersey Shore” in Italy has been delayed because the cast is demanding more money. They’re sticking together for more money, just like the cast of “Friends” if the cast of friends was stupid, drunk and orange.

Shocker on “American Idol” last night. And I’m not talking about 63-year-old Iggy Pop singing shirtless. Probably the best singer, Pia Toscano, was voted off. It’s as shocking as if Snooki won on “Jeopardy”.

Speaking of 63-year-old Iggy Pop singing shirtless on “American Idol”. Nobody is going to make fun of Steven Tyler’s wild shirts again.

Since you asked:
Not to brag - well, maybe to brag - but I felt world-class, Mentos-ad, Disney sitcom great yesterday after surfing at La Jolla Shores. Told the woman gardener planting flowers outside the Marine room she was doing a great job. Lunched on a lobster mac & cheese at a fancy bar, then home having a cocktail while watching delay- recorded the Masters and grilling pollo asado tacos.

After dinner, I sat down with a glass of red wine. It's still sunny outside, Tiger was on about the sixth hole and starting on a tear. Next thing I know, Ann Caroline calls me, I wake up, it is pitch dark and Tiger is finishing up 17. It's like that guy in that movie with Richard Gere, Edward Norton in "Primal Fear". I lllllost ttttttttime.