Thursday, April 07, 2011

This plus

Equals this

Tina Fey is pregnant again. Gosh, I sure hope this doesn't hurt her chances to run for president.

Since you asked:
The fact that Ian Poulter would tell the press he doesn’t think Tiger Woods will finish in the top five at the Masters speaks volumes about how far Tiger has fallen.

Among his many personality flaws, Tiger, when he was on top, was very vindictive. If he perceived anyone slighting him in any way, he would, like Michael Jordan, use his considerable skills on the golf course and his considerable influence off the course to make their lives miserable.

Just ask Phil Mickelson.

For Poulter to say Tiger is out of the running means that Tiger’s game is so far off, he will finish way out of the running, not just out of the top five, and that Tiger no longer has the power off the course to hurt the countless people on the tour who now so clearly despise him.

When I saw Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer and Gary Player together on the Par 3, it hit me that Tiger will never be where they are at that age. Tiger doesn’t have near enough class to last. You know the expression you can't keep a good man down? Well you also can't keep a bad man up.

In the words of the great Dan Jenkins, to coin a Southern expression, Tiger Woods really is graveyard dead.

On Facebook, I have a friend - and by friend I mean someone I have not talked to in 30 years - whom I have quickly discovered is barking mad. Not quirky, not odd, not eccentric, not new-age-y, we're talking full-blown insane. Apparently she has a lot of money. It takes a lot of money to go really crazy, ala Michael Jackson and Howard Hughes.

She flies to remote areas of the globe where all of her fellow converge to vent their insanity and then she posts the pictures on her facebook page.

But then, who doesn't fly to Bali to receive a volcanic ash rectal cleanse?