Suddenly Sklar did not think soccer was such a beautiful sport after all

Holy monkey-humpin' Duncan, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


This just in:

Reports claim Child Protective Services were called to Britney Spears Los Angeles home. A source close to Spears defended her parenting saying; “Hey, it’s not like the two boys smoke like that Indonesian toddler. They just dip Skoal.”

When asked to comment, Britney declined. Not because she didn't have anything to say, at the time her mouth was full of Cheetos, Lucky Lager and a lit Marlboro.

After 25 years, Larry King is stepping down from his talk show, “Larry King Live.” Larry wants to spend more time with his great, great, great grandchildren.

In a related story, a 100 year-old Galapagos turtle wearing big glasses, a bow tie and red suspenders, took a nap.

The good news is Megan Fox married Brian Austin Green. The bad news is the honeymoon was cut short; Brian was called back to cover an afternoon shift as the Radio Shack assistant manager.

“Bachelor” star, Vienna Girardi announced she will pose naked for “Playboy.” Remember, this is the woman who claimed she broke off her engagement with Jake because he was a shameless publicity whore.