Equal time sport crotch kick shots. Man, talk about hooking them horns.

The FBI busted a Russian spy ring that was deep under cover in the East. The ring was so deeply undercover they didn’t know communism in Russia fell, the cold war is over and they don’t need to spy anymore.

Signs your neighbor is a Russian spy:

He still thinks Anna Kournakova has a shot at Wimbledon.

Greets you with; “How about those capitalist pig Yankees?”

Actually watched and enjoyed World Cup games played by teams that weren’t the US.

Twice you caught him talking into his shoe. (“Get Smart” is still a spy reference, people)

When asked what he does for a living, he unconvincingly says; “Well, I’m not a Russian spy, if that’s what you mean.”

Constantly borrows your Comrade '98 Russian spy protection shield.

Leans over the fence, hands you a box and asks if you can hang on to this stuff that isn't vital Russian spy information for a few days.

Repeatedly asks you if you're sure you're not Red Bear Thirty Two.

Three words: KGB cuff links.

Also:

An Alaska man was arrested for stabbing his roommate with deer antlers. The victim is fine, but the man was charged with assault, domestic violence and proliferating an Alaskan stereotype.


A survey reveals about one people in four do not know from whom the US received its independence. Former President Bush was shocked to discover so many people did not know we received our independence from Canada.